Together: Puzzle Pieces
by Kikyz
Summary: -"Life and Love are like puzzles. They won't make sense until you put it all together." -The happenings after the one-shot "Together" done in different perspectives.-
1. Mac: Don't say her name

_Life and Love is like a puzzle. A thousand piece puzzle to be exact. At times it's easy, but it's moreover hard. You need patience to make it all the way through. Sadly, that's a trait many lack. But one shouldn't be discouraged. There's no need in giving up because it's frustrating. Go at your own pace and put it together. Even if it seems to be falling apart, you have to pull it together. One also shouldn't force it. It may not fit where you think it belongs, but it fits somewhere. Just be patient. It'll all fall into place in time. Don't let life end with an unfinished puzzle on the table._

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Mac

_**Don't say her name**_  


* * *

"I love you," she exhaled, trapped within the lucid reality where the sun would never rise. I was trapped too, but I was more aware of it. My hand traced over her frame. She was pretty slender, despite her condition. She always been naturally thin. Shame that I'm going to have to miss the only time she'll ever be over hundred pounds. It would have been a sight to see.  
I breathed into her neck as my fingers grope around her breast. She arched herself to brush her lips against my chin. She tried to arch body more so that she could reach my lips, but failed. She turned to face me and kissed me with pure affection. I miss our intimacy. I long to touch her. To feel the animalistic heat entwining itself with our endless love is something I crave for every night. And, to be completely honest, I miss everything. Not just her, our love, and the sex. Everything. Every little thing that made up my life before she left that morning and officially leaving me the day after. Sure, there are things in my life that stayed the same when she left to live with her grandma. However, they weren't the same. It felt different somehow, even if nothing had changed about them.  
She had rotated herself on top of me and took my lips. The taste of her mouth more flavorful than any candy I was forbidden to eat. I had took hold of her hips, ready to take her for the second time that night. She—

The irate buzzing of my alarm clock interrupted my thoughts. I slam a mighty hand against it and it becomes tranquil. I lay back down and tried to collect my thoughts of what had happen two weeks ago. My mind went blank and I'm unable to recollect where I left off. I let out a soft sigh. I wish I could kill the man who created alarm clocks. Or maybe I should be going after the inventor of school, for it is his fault that I needed the alarm. With no access to a time machine, I roll out of bed and pull on the clothes I laid out the night before. Stomping into my shoes, I walk into the bathroom. My eyes connect to the mirror. My reflection stares at me with tired, depressed eyes with a dark ring around them. With hair outrageously askew and a frown to match that of a beached whale, one might think I have depression or something. Then again, maybe I do.  
I quickly turn the facet and splashed the hot water on my sullen face. I shouldn't question my sanity. Just because she wasn't here didn't mean I had to be a mental case. I finger comb my hair, not caring enough to look for my brush. I make my way to the kitchen. I wasn't hungry. I hadn't been hungry ever since the day she told me she was leaving. I sit at the counter top and wait for time to pass. I slowly became use to this morning routine of waiting. Terrence had gotten into a car accident in early November. He came out of it with nothing more than a busted lip. The car, on the other hand, is pushing up daisies. Seeing as we shared the car and Mom needed the other one for her late shifts at work, it left us both without transportation. It wasn't that bad though. I just had to start riding the bus again.

Terrence, moving like a sluggish zombie, came into the kitchen. I sent him a queer look. It was rare to see him up so early, especially since he didn't have to be at his job until the afternoon. He had gotten fired from Wal-Mart after not coming in so many days after he wrecked our car. He was smart enough to join a car pool to get to his new job at a Mexican restaurant. Even though I was seventeen, my mom has yet to give me a key to the apartment. So when he works on school days, I have to get off at the bus stop closest to said restaurant and wait for his shift to be over. Still, even though I may be a little late getting to Fosters, it wasn't _that_ bad. It's not like I really had anywhere to go.  
Terrence opens the fridge, pulls a few slices of leftover Thanksgiving turkey out and stuffs his face. He then opens a bottle of ranch dressing and pours it straight into his mouth. I turn away as he repeats the process to look a the clock on the stove. It's almost time for me to be leaving. I get up and move into the living room to get my book bag. Before I reach the door, Terrence calls out to me.  
"Make sure you get off at _Julio's _today_. _I'm not tryin' to hear Mom complaining 'bout you sittin' on the rail again."  
I shook my head at his reference to yesterday. It wasn't that I forgot, I just didn't want to sit in the crowded building. If it wasn't for Louise's parents calling Mom, I doubt Terrence would have cared about it. I turn to see him downing the quart of orange juice.  
"Yeah," I reply, "I won't do that again."

* * *

The day passed swiftly, and I now find myself at the last class of the day: Biology AP. My mind began to melt as my teacher rambles about the main three organs of a plant. Is it really that important for me to know this? I doubt it. Johnny Depp didn't even start his senior year of high school and he's rich, famous, and has vineyard in France. And here I am, sitting a year early as a senior, with nothing. Yes, I certainly do believe I can live without knowing what the hell xylem is.

A finger jabs itself against my back and I turn to see Tzu Nakashima smiling at me. I've known Tzu since freshmen year. She had convinced me to join the math team. But when I got a girlfriend, I really didn't have time for math team anymore. We didn't speak that much after I quit. Nothing beyond a _hey_ or a wave in the hall. We didn't have any classes together sophomore or junior year. So our friendship status dwindled down to acquaintances. Yet she smiles like she doesn't know that. She smiles as if we've been friends since kindergarten and we'll be forever and ever. Her smile is annoying.  
"Did you see yesterday's episode?" she inquires me, aware that I'd know instantly what she's talking about.

"No," I lied, hoping this would end the conversation. Her eyes went wide and I knew I was in for it.

"I can't believe you missed it. It was so awesome! Hiro was…"  
I tuned out her voice while pretending to look interested as she talks. She had to be the biggest geek girl I've ever met. She could happily do calculus in her sleep and watch every Sci-Fi movie the Earth has to offer. Her voice was soft and slightly raspy. However, it got extremely high pitched when she was excitedly talking, like she is now. I wish she'd shut up. I'm not the mood to be around her. Really don't want to be with anyone, actually. I want to be alone. Well, alone with…  
"…Goo."

I immediately became alert at the sound of her name and the pang in my heart from hearing it. No one, not even Terrence, had uttered her name around me since she left. I'm barely able to even _think _my lover's name without falling into a pit of despair. And yet, Tzu says it like it's nothing. As if it was as common as saying "_bless you" _when someone sneezed.

"What?"

"I know, right? When he melted to goo, I totally freaked!" she continues her story, and I realized that I had jumped to conclusions. It was foolish of me to even think that someone like Tzu would profusely mention _her_. I nod and turn back around just as the bell rang. Everyone quickly jumps to their feet and rushes out the door. I dash to my locker, toss all my books inside it, and ran out to the loading area. I managed to get on the bus before it got too crowded. As I prop myself into a seat, I pray I wouldn't have to share it with anyone. God granted me this one, petty wish. I stare out the window as the bus began moving. I wonder what I would have done if Tzu was actually talking about _her_. Scream, maybe? I doubt that I'd hit her the way I would if Terrence or some random guy at school had said it. Who knows?

I miss her. I close my eyes, envisioning her face. When did I fall so helplessly in love with her? Sometimes I wish I could stop. Loving her, that is. I wish I had a switch to turn it off and numb the pain of separation. At least until she came back. That is, _if_ she came back. Ugh! This is so…so fucked up! I can't stand this! Why did she have to leave? It's not like letting her stay here with me would be so terrible. It's not like she'll stop being pregnant because I'm not near! Damn. I want to explode. Spontaneous combustion. Wild fire. The bus explodes. Crash. Hundreds die along with me.  
"Hey, don't you get off here?" says a voice with a hand that's shaking me a little. My eyes snap open and meet the brown eyes of a guy with braces. I glance out the window and nod at the boy.  
"Thanks," I whisper as I got up. He smiles, but quickly stops and cover his mouth. The braces must be new. I walk off the bus with my head hung low. I couldn't look at them. I'd just killed them, after all. Maybe there is something wrong with me. No, it's only natural to feel a bit crazy and out of it. It's not like I didn't have a good reason to be.  
I walk into the overly air conditioned building that is _Julio's_. I go to my normal table and sit. My stomach growls for the first time in what felt like forever. And, like magic, a basket of chips accompanied by salsa appeared before me. I look up at Kari, the girl who usually drove us home in her van. "Thought you might be hungry. Terrence and I should be getting off as soon as his replacement comes in. So you don't have to wait long," she says before quickly going back to work. So fast, in fact, that I wasn't able to thank her. I look down at her small gesture of kindness. A genuine smile creeps to my face and I began to eat.

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_**A/n: okay, so here it is. And i hope you enjoyed it. Like I said in the summary, the story will jump from different POVs. Mac, Goo, and Terrence(yes, my dear reader, Terrence. But only if you guys find his side-story interesting.). Majority will be Mac, I suppose. And you may have notice the OCs. I'm trying to keep them(OCs that is) to minimum, but as the story develops in my head, the more materialize. Right now, there's about 3or4, which is more than I originally wanted, but I guess it's okay. An Oc will most likely never be a chapter's protagonist(unless requested). Speaking of OC's, Tzu name's pronounced like "zoo".Also, I've realized that writing as Mac is fun cause I can use the BIG words with the **little **words and it all seems to fit. Anyway, plz review. It motivates me.**_

_**Songs listened to while writting this chapter: various songs by **Incubus_


	2. Mac: Love and Chocolate

**Mac  
**_**Love and chocolate**_

Mild chatter fill the classroom as we wait for exams to be given out. Christmas break, or the politically correct 'winter break', will start for me the moment this test is over and I can go home. Now, however, I spent this spare time looking over the various doodles scrawled on my desk. My ears managing to block out the conversations fluttering about the room. Most of them, anyway.

"God, I'm not ready for this test. I swear, I think I'm gonna fail," the blond in front of me whines for the umpteenth time.  
"I told you to study instead of hanging out at Brad's all night," is her red haired friend reply. The blond gives her an angry look while I gave little of my attention to them. Was it bad that we've been in this class together all semester and I didn't even know their names? I shrug to my own question. I doubt they knew my name either.  
"Don't say it like _that_. You make it sound like we did something!" the blond huffs.

"Oh, stop acting all innocent. Everyone knows you two are fooling around. Just make sure you don't end up preggers."  
"Yeah, yeah," the blond waves her friends words off. "Hey, wasn't that weird chick pregnant?"  
"Weird chick?"  
"Um…you know, the black girl with the really long hair. Had braces when she was in our Algebra class…"  
"That was freshman year! You can't expect me to remember so far back," the red-head sighs in frustration. The expression on her face showcasing how hard it was to remember the fore mentioned girl. Meanwhile, I think I might just go into cardiac arrest.

"She…uh…She talked a lot and wore that ridiculous rainbow shirt," the blonde's nosed winkles as she talks about the mystery girl's attire, "I mean, how kindergarten is that?"  
The red-head laughs in agreement. The glint in her eye showed she knew who they were talking about now.

"Oh, _her_. She was kind of a weirdo, but she's okay. Wasn't that her that gave the class those little chocolate crumble thingies?" the red-head says. The blond shrugs. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was her. But why do you think she was pregnant?"  
"I dunno. I just heard some things…"  
"Like what?"  
"That she got pregnant and her boyfriend dumped her. I heard that she was so depressed that her parents had to send her to some psychiatrist in Virginia."  
"_Or _she could have just moved," the red-head rationalized as she rolled her eyes at her friend. "Seriously, how do you swallow all this crap people feed you."

When I realized their conversation was no longer connecting to Goo, I stopped listening. Don't know why I do this to myself. It's not like they could have said anything I didn't already know. How many times have I heard the rumor? How many variations have I heard of it? How many times did I awkwardly sit behind gossipers, waiting for them to speak her name? How many times did I had to sit uncomfortably next to some idiot bold enough to ask me whether or not there was any truth to it?

It didn't happen consistently. Just every once in a while. But that didn't mean I wasn't sick of it. Then again, I kind of looked forward to it. Deep down, I guess I do kind of like hearing what they had to say. Many didn't have the story straight. Few cared. We attend a pretty large school. It was easy to be forgotten. Goo wasn't widely known, but just memorable enough for a nice little tale to be told. For most, it was like she just vanished into thin air. No one knew what really happened. They barely knew her. They didn't even realize that I, the guy sitting right behind them, was 'the boyfriend'. But I guess someone out there just needed to tell a story about a girl, one they barely knew, just for kicks. A simple little rumor produced by the imagination of some teenager. I might not even pay it any mind, if it wasn't for that small bit of truth. I did get her pregnant. She did have to leave because of me. Taking a deep breath, I try to ignore the throbbing of my Adams apple and calm down. I hate how easy I upset myself. I really shouldn't even be thinking about this. I have a test in a matter of seconds.

"Mac, are you okay? You look like you're going to vomit," came Tzu's raspy, yet feminine voice. I turn towards her and it's now I realize that I've been sitting like a statue for at least three minutes.  
"I'm fine."  
She gives me a skeptical look, but it quickly shifts into that friendly smile of hers. She digs into her jacket pocket and pulls out a small bag of fish shaped gummies. "Do you think you'll do okay on the test?" she asks in an attempt for small talk. I shrug. I had studied a little last night before bed, but I guess I'm not as prepared as I need to be. At least I know I'll do better than the blonde.  
Tzu nods, pulling out a blue gummy shark out of her bag. "Want some?" she offers and I turn it down. After years of not being allowed to have sweets, my response is automatic. I don't think I had a sugar episode in years. Unless you count this April when one of Bloo's schemes went awry and Goo ended up covered in melted chocolate.

Best. Sugar. Rush. EVER!

A smile creeps its way to my face as the heavenly memory clouds my brain. The only thing snapping me out of my spell is the teacher's voice as he states that the exam is about to begin.

No school for two weeks and to sleep comfortably in one's bed is definitely one of life's simple pleasures. I didn't want to get up, but my growling stomach said otherwise. I slowly rise with the vague memory of the dream I had. I roll out of bed and slid on a pair of pajama pants before heading towards the kitchen. When walking into the living room, I spot Terrence on the sofa. In his boxers, he sat watching _Love and the Loveless _before he takes notice of me and hurries to change the channel. I pretend I didn't see him watching the soap opera and he thanks me by not bothering me with an insult or greeting. A silent compromise. I step inside the kitchen and didn't feel hungry anymore. I frown at myself. I'm already here, so I might as well force something down and go back to sleep. I open the refrigerator doors and went over my options. I didn't feel like cooking anything. I didn't want to make a bowl full of cereal and waste it.I guess this apple can do. I pull one out of the bag as someone knocks on our door. Biting into my apple, I look over at Terrence to see if he is going to get the door. The knocking continues and I roll my eyes at him. Could he be any lazier? I make my way to the door, not forgetting to send my brother a look on the way. "Who is it?"  
"Kari."

I open the door and she takes a step inside. "Hey, Mac. Is your brother ready?" she asks with a small smile. I answer her question by pointing over to him. Terrence's eyes went wide when he saw her. Obviously, he forgot he had to work today. It wasn't anything unusual. It happened all the time in his past employments. Back then, however, Kari wasn't around. Her face instantly turns dark. "You better get your ass dressed. I'm not about to be late because of you!" she yells at him. He jumps up and quickly dashes to his room. I couldn't help but smile. "Idiot," Kari mumbles under her breath. I loved the way she talks to Terrence. It's the way I wish I could. No fear. Even though he towers over her in height, she didn't seem afraid of him in the least. I also love the way that he seems to be a little bit afraid of her. It's kind of funny, actually.  
A soft sigh escapes her lips. She turns to me and ruffles my hair. She's only a year older than Goo, but she makes me feel like a little kid. When hanging around her, it was more like I was with a young aunt. Someone I could relate to, but respected.

"Does anyone wear any clothes around here?" she smirks, pointing to my bare chest.  
"Only on Tuesdays," I reply and she lets out a small laugh. "So, um, how's college?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm not failing or anything. Just need to pay for it all," she answers plainly. She ran her fingers through her black hair before letting out another soft sigh. "Hurry up, Terrence!" she yells out to him. She turns back to me and says, "My cousin got me this really cool fighting game where you can play as a DC comic hero or a Mortal Combat character and fight. I thought you and Terrence might like it." I nod enthusiastically and she smiles. "Cool, I'll drop it off later."

Kari is indeed a giver. After having to sit in _Julio's _the past month and a half, we've had our share of conversations. She's nice and down to earth. She has a bright future ahead of her. Why she's spending her spare time with my deadbeat brother and me, I'm not too sure about. Though I do know she's trying to make Terrence and me become closer. It was the only thing that I didn't like about her. Not because she was being nosy or being pushy about it. No, it was because of how sly she does it. Also, it's because it was kind of working. Sure, we weren't the best of friends, Terrence and I, but a bridge has been made. An old, rickety wooden bridge over a gator pit, but a bridge nonetheless. And to be honest, I'm a little afraid to cross it. A friendship with my brother is something completely foreign to me. It just seems weird and I'm sure Terrence feels the same way. We may not be enemies, but we aren't friends. Just…brothers.

Kari bends over to tie her shoe as Terrence hops into the room, stomping his shoes on. He pauses and I watch as his eyes check out her butt. I roll my eyes at him as she stands back up. For a split second, Terrence met my gaze. I pretend I didn't see him checking out Kari's ass and he thanks me by not sending me a good bye punch in the arm. A silent compromise. "Lets go already," an unknowing Kari says, speeding out the door. Terrence follows his ride to work out the door and I'm left alone. I turn off the TV in the living room before I toss my half eaten apple into the trash. I walk to my room and I'm no longer sleepy. I sit at my computer desk and decided to check my email. I open my inbox, ignoring all other new messages as I search for a certain address. I smile when I see Goo's reply to the email I sent her a few days ago. I quickly open it as my stomach began to flutter.

_I'm so so so sorry that it took so long to reply. The computer at my grandma's don't have the internet so I got to go to the library to check emails and stuff. Her house is so anti-technology. She doesn't even have a phone. I mean, even Amish people have phone's…at least I think they do. She even took my cell phone. Oh, that's also why I haven't called. Sorry. I love her though. Its not that bad here. Just wish it was a family vacation thing and not a sentence. I miss you too and I'm doing okay. I LOOOOOOOVE You!_

I must have reread the message a million times before clicking the 'reply' button. I stare at my computer screen, mulling over what to say. Three minutes went by and not a word had been typed. I thought over the days since she's been gone. First couple days, I was depressed and miserable. Some more days pass, I'm not as depressed, but still miserable and a little on edge. Recently, I'm not miserable or depressed. I'm just coping. Just wishing she was here. Though, I don't think I'll type that. I don't want her upset because I'm letting this eat away at me. Instead, I type in how I love and miss her the way I did in the original message I sent. LOL-ing to the fact her grandma has a computer, but not a phone. And then, I add on a simple question.

_Do you remember the chocolate bunnies?_

I smile, knowing she would. I click the send button and let my mind go back to that April afternoon. Madam Foster had bought chocolate Easter bunnies for the house and, of course, Bloo wanted them all to himself. He did somehow managed to get them all down to the basement before Easter. I remember him explaining his plan to me afterwards, but can't recall what it was exactly. I just remember him patting himself on the back for the little detail of bringing them to the basement instead of the attic, since lots of imaginaries still go up there to play inside that toy box. Apparently, it was taking too long, for him anyway, to eat them all, so he started melting them by the bucket and slurping them down. The inevitable happen, Mr. Harriman noticed the bunnies were gone. He had us search high and low for them before Goo ventured to the basement. I was told that they ended up wrestling and knocked over some of the buckets, spilling chocolate all over them. They came back up drenched in it. Frankie sent Goo up to wash off as Harriman started to lecture Bloo, who was too busy licking the chocolate off his arm to care. I helped Goo up the steps and walked her to one of the bathrooms with an arm around her waist. She stepped inside the bathroom, pulling away from me. I had looked at my arm and saw that chocolate covered my hand and sleeve.  
"Sorry Mac," she had said to me.  
"It's okay," I'd told her, wondering if licking it off my hand would turn into chaos. I hadn't had sugar since that Halloween when I was eight. She must had been able to read me mind because she took my hand and licked off the chocolate. The feeling that surged through me was incredible. I took her lips, wanting her to feel it too. The door magically closed behind me as we felled to the floor. My tongue licked her lips and then her cheeks. It was so sweet. So delicious. I couldn't get enough of it. Her shirt vanished and mine did as well. I wanted more. I needed more. My tongue had ran over the chocolate on her arm before tugging down her bra. It didn't matter that there wasn't really any chocolate there. Her skin was just as sweet. Suckling her breast, my hands find their way to her shorts. I unbuttoned them and moved to kiss her lips as I yanked them off her. After only two minutes inside the bathroom, I'd already had her in nothing but her underwear. But it was definitely the sugar that caused me to rush my actions. I peeled off her pink panties and lowered myself. I'd sucked the chocolate off her legs, hurriedly going up it. I'd kissed her inner thigh a few times before taking her in. Her sticky finger griped my hair, pushing me in closer. I can still remember how sweet she smelt. "_Maaaac_," she had moaned. And damn if it wasn't the most addicting sound. I'd wanted to hear it again. I wouldn't mind hearing it now.

"Mac?"

My eyes pop open as my mom enters my room. I quickly scoot closer to my desk to hide the desire in my pants. "I got off a little early. Did Terrence have to work today?" she says with a smile. Still embarrassed by my previous thoughts with her so near, I simply nod. Her hand caresses my cheek and her smile fades for a sec. "You're a little warm. Are you feeling okay, honey?" her voice is full of concern as she speaks. I nod again and she gives me a quick kiss. "I'll be in my room if you need me," she calls as she left my room. I let out a heavy sigh of relief. I let myself relax before hopping out the chair and falling into my bed. I'm very tired, all of a sudden.


	3. Goo: New House

**Goo  
_New House_**

The house glows in autumn glory as the sun sets. I've only been here in the summer time. Not that it isn't pretty in summer or anything. I'm just saying that it looks tremendously beautiful surrounded by the golden leaves and all. Biting my lower lip, I glance at my dad as we pull into the driveway. "Goo Goo!" my grandma cries out when she swung the door open. An enthusiastic hug is given and I can feel the love pouring out of her. "Wow, you've grown so amazingly!" she happily complements before squeezing me back into a hug.  
"Mom, don't kill the girl," my dad says as he carries my bags to the door. She frowns at him before turning back to me. "I've been so happy since I heard you were coming. Of course, I don't like the reason behind it, but still. I'm glad you're here," she announces to me.  
"Don't spoil her," Dad calls from the car, getting the rest of my luggage. Grandma sticks her tongue out at him and they both smile at each other. A boy walks into the living room, wiping the smile clear off Dad's face.  
"You remember Jacob, Goo?" Grandma asks me, pointing to the tan skinned boy. I nod, trying my best to stay mute. Jacob was one of her foster kids she had taken in over the years. After she adopted him, she stopped taking in foster kids though. I'm not really sure why she chosen him to adopt. I mean, he was kind of mean as a kid. Then again, I've haven't seen him since I was ten.  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot about him. I kind of wanted Goo to be boy free, Ma."  
"What you want me to do, give him the dog house until she leaves? Seriously. It's not like having a boy around is going to make her any more pregnant. Besides, he's family," she says, "Jacob, why don't you carry Goo's bag upstairs and show her to her room."

He nods, making his long, messy black hair swish. He picks up a few bags and head up the steps. I follow behind him until we get to the room. "You'll be up here for now. Boo is still cleaning out a room downstairs for you when you get…big," he states. I guess he wasn't comfortable about me being pregnant. Wait, did he just call my grandma by her first name? A little disrespectful, if you ask me. "Yeah, so…don't go unpacking everything. It'll probably be ready for ya in a week or two. Also, the door over on the left side of the room is the closet. The door near the bed leads to my room. Try to remember that, cause I don't want you going into my room," he continues, stacking the bags next to the bed. I already knew that. I mean, sure, I haven't been here in over eight years, but still. I knew this place like the back of my hand. And what did he mean he didn't want me going into his room? What's he hiding in there? Curiosity killed the cat, I remind myself. I bit my lower lip, keeping it all inside my head. I shall keep to my vow of silence. I won't speak a word to anyone. I think if I'm able to keep it up that Grandma might send me back home.

Jacob leaves and I sit down on the bed. This room hadn't changed much. New bedding and the desk that was in here is now gone. Other than that, it was the same. Jacob came back in with the rest of my bags, adding them to the pile. He glances at me and rubs the back of his neck. "So…um…I'll just be over in my room if you need something. But, uh…try not to need me. Dinner starts at six, but it might be later cause of your arrival and all. So, yeah…" he sputters out, his eyes going in every direction, but towards me. After a moment of silence, he opens the door combining our rooms and closes it behind him. I lay back on my new bed and stare up at the ceiling. I go over all the patterns for a minute or so. I'm bored. I wish Mac was here. We could play a checkers or…Heat ran to my cheeks as the thought enters my mind. I try not to think about it. Thinking of our love making wasn't going to make it easier.

* * *

A week has passed and I've managed not to speak to anyone. Not during our school sessions. Not even at Thanksgiving dinner. Though I wish I could say I've talked to Mac. My cell phone had been confiscated before dinner on my first night, but it wasn't like I got any good reception anyway. I forgot how she didn't like phones. _They interrupted the creative process_. Which is also why she didn't have a television. _How are you suppose to have an opinion when television told you what to think?_ I've heard this before, but it all just came back to me.  
"Morning, Goo Goo. You want some waffles?" Grandma greets me in her cheery voice. I nod my head and she hands me a plate, kissing my forehead. I sit down at the table with Jacob. He bobs his head to acknowledge me and continued stuffing his face with his mountain of waffles. He ate a lot, but somehow didn't get fat. But it could be all the labor Grandma makes him do. I finish up my breakfast and head back up stairs. Before I make it out the door, Grandma blocks me. "Don't you want to go with me to the store? You've haven't left the house since you got here. Some fresh air will do you good."  
I shake my head no and made my way up the stairs. Half way there, I can hear Jacob's heavy footsteps behind me. Even though I heard him, I didn't know he was following me into my room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he yells at me. I send him a nasty look, but he ignores it. "Why are you acting all mute? I remembered how you use to blab! This whole silent treatment thing is getting old and it's upsetting Boo! So you need to open that mouth of yours and talk for fuck sakes!" he yells, making me feel bad. I look down at the old, ugly blue carpet. It matches how I feel. I didn't want my grandma to be worried, especially over nothing.

"I know you didn't have any friends, but damn! Don't blame us cause you fell for some guys one liners," he spat and I instantly snap my head up. How dare he think…  
"You bastard! For your information, I have plenty of friends back home and I didn't just stupidly sleep with _some_ guy. He loves me, you jerk!" I fiercely yell at him. I gave him a hard shove and his eyes darken the way I'm sure mine look.  
"Don't touch me!" he screams, pushing me away from him.  
"NO!" I retort, knocking him to the ground. We wrestle around the floor screaming blasphemy at each other until he managed to pin me. My breath is heavy as I glare up at him. I hate him. I hate him more than anything in the world. I never thought I could hate a person the way I hate him, but I never thought I could be quiet for more than a couple of minutes. I'm learning so many new things about myself. I'm about to scream something ugly at him, but then I felt it. A somewhat familiar feeling of something bulging against my thigh. My eyes widen as my brain manages to connect the dots. He's…_ewwwww_! I watch the blush creep to his cheeks as we stare at each other wide-eyed. He quickly rolls off me and I sat up.  
"S-sorry," he stutters out, not looking at me.

"What's going on up here?" Grandma's calls up from the staircase.  
"Nothing, Grandma. We were just having a little debate. Nothing serious, really. Sorry if we were loud," I yell out to her.  
"O-okay," she replies and I can totally hear the shock in her voice that I was the one that answered. "Just keep it down. I'm trying to paint."  
"Okay!"  
I look back over to Jacob, who's sitting uncomfortably across from me with a light blush on his face. I couldn't help. I just had to laugh. He just looks so ridiculous. I laugh as he glares at me. I laugh when he tells me to shut up. I laugh as he left to his room. I laugh as I sit alone. I laugh myself to sleep.

I woke when I heard a knocking on my door and Grandma's voice singing out, "Dinner!" I got up and stretch, laying a hand on my tummy. It's now that it hit me. I just had a fight while pregnant. I worriedly wrap my arms around my belly. Nothing feels wrong, but I'm still a bit concern. I really shouldn't roughhouse. I slowly get up and walk down the steps to the kitchen. I sit down and Grandma places a plate in front of me. She puts down Jacob's plate before sitting down to hers. I pick up my fork and began eating my mash potatoes as Grandma tells us about her day. By the time I finish my potatoes, Jacob had cleared his plate. "Can I be excused?" he asks and my grandma waves him off. He runs out the kitchen. I wonder if he's still upset about earlier? It was his own fault. So what if I laughed at him? Didn't he basically accused me of being a dumb slut? Me laughing at him wasn't as bad as that. I mean, really. He's a bit over sensitive for a boy that curses like a sailor. When I finished, I head up to my room. Jacob's sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. For him to not want me in his room, he sure does waltz in here like it's nothing.  
"Hey…So, um, how's morning sickness?" he offers a pathetic excuse for an ice breaker.  
"I don't have morning sickness. I mean, yeah, certain smells made me queasy, but I'm not throwing up or anything. I mean, I'm-"  
"But I thought all women puke when there..." he interrupts me, just to be unable to finish his statement. I roll my eyes.  
"Why are you in here?"  
"I…I just…I wanted to apologize."

I sat down in front of him and say, "I thought you already did." He looks at me confused before his cheeks brunt red and he turns his face away from me.  
"Not _that_. For what I said before that. And for hitting you."  
"Oh, well, you're forgiven. And I was the one who hit you first. And besides, it's not like you punched me or anything."  
"I still shouldn't have touched you. I usually don't hit girls. I feel really bad about it. Especially since your…um, with child."  
"You didn't seem to care when you pulled my pigtails."  
"We were eight and that was completely different. You kept making those imaginary guys and it was getting annoying."  
"Are you still mad that you aren't able to make imaginary friends?"  
"I'm almost eighteen. What do I need an imaginary friend for?"  
"That's not answering the question," I point out in singsong. He frowns for a second, but then smiles.

"Tomorrow, I'm going out with some friends to the mall."  
"There's a mall…out here? Since when?"  
"Two years ago. It's an hour drive."  
"I don't think I wanna go."  
He shrugs and stands up. He offers me a hand and helps me up. He stands there awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Night," he finally mutters before going to his room. I lay down on my bed, looking at the patterns on the ceiling again. "Mac," I hear myself breath. I wonder if he's thinking of me too. I close my eyes and try to send him a telepathic message: _I love you._


	4. Mac: Filling

**Mac**

_**Filling**_

When I was thirteen, my Mom went away on a business trip. While she was gone, I spent most of my time at Foster's. However, for whatever reason that I still can't comprehend, I stayed home the night of Terrence's house party. It was terrible. I was sure my lungs had turned black form the smoke. Terrence's friends were such a pain. They pretty much broke everything in the house, not to mention Mom's favorite vase. And they ate everything! Even my Pop-Tarts. MY POP-TARTS! I could have killed them for that. That was also the first and last time I had alcohol. That stuff tastes horrible. How people become addicted to that stuff is beyond me. Anyway, if it wasn't obvious, my mom never left us alone for an extended period of time ever again. That is, she hasn't until now. I watch as she packs her suitcases. She won't be leaving until next weekend, but she likes to be prepared. I wonder how Goo's pregnancy affected her. Mom isn't really one for surprises and if _that _wasn't a surprise, I don't know what is. I can still remember the look on her face when I told her. It was the weirdest moment, because in these situations you expect certain things. You expect your parents to be mad and scream and yell and rip your head off before tossing you on the street cause you fucked your life up and they're disappointed. Instead, my mom just sort of sat there as if she was waiting for me to yell _April Fools_, despite it being the middle of August. A tear sheds down her cheek and she hugs me. She holds me so tight that I thought she'd never let go. I didn't what it meant. I wasn't sure if she was upset or happy. I really didn't understand anything, but…I knew she still loved me and I guess that's all I really wanted to know. Afterwards, she went back to normal. It was as if nothing had happen. I'm pretty sure she's in denial about it. Not that I could blame her. I mean, Terrence was the one everyone thought was a screw up. So me, the golden boy, screwing up makes people raise an eyebrow at her. I don't know. She may not be the perfect mother, but she's definitely not the worst.

"Don't you have something better to do than lurk in my doorway?"  
"Sorry, Mom, but my plans for today don't go much farther than this till dinner. Besides, you'll be gone in a few days. I might as well stare while I can."  
She looks at me and smile before going back to her luggage. "It's only for a little while," she falsely promises. It's January and she wouldn't be back until May or June. She's going overseas and we can only afford so many phone calls from her while she's away. The horrible truth is that for the next four to five months I won't have a mother and I'm going to have to rely on Terrence. _Terrence! _

"Why don't you go pick out your clothes for school tomorrow?" she suggests, eyeing her black heels before jamming them into the suitcase. I simply shake my head. We're out tomorrow for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. You know, I never really understood what we are suppose to do on that day. It's kind of like Presidents Day; just a day out of school. It's kind of sad, for a great man to be nothing but a school-free holiday.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were out tomorrow. Hey, are you hungry? I can call for pizza."

* * *

I can't sleep. Goo's six months along now. I wonder what she's thinking; I wonder how she's feeling; I wonder if she's coming back soon. I run my fingers over the spot of the bed where she once laid. I quickly flip the pillow and inhaled the faint scent of her hair. It's pretty much gone now, but I relish in this small ounce of her. I slowly flip it back over to stare at my wall for a few minutes. No wonder I can't sleep. I wish I could talk to her. I glance at the annoying bright red numbers of my alarm clock. It's almost six a.m. I slid out of bed and slump my way into the kitchen. I toss some leftover pizza into the microwave before sitting down. The apartment's really quiet. I can only hear the muted sound of a car or two passing by. I'm only able to eat about half of my pizza before I get this weird urge to go outside. Before I knew what I was doing, I'm tugging a hat on my head as I exit.

It's cold and my only light source at the moment is the lone dim streetlight. Yeah, this was a dumb idea. I'm freezing with nothing to do, but I don't want to go back inside. I ease myself up and sit on the railing. I stare up at the dark sky, waiting for the sun to make its grand entrance. Once, when Goo and I was playing truth or dare, she made me sit on this rail for five minutes. It was horrible sitting on this tiny rail, being so far off the ground. Three minutes in and she hops on next to me and playfully blew kisses my way to scare me off the rail. It almost worked, actually. That is, until she accidentally kissed me. Then we just sort of sat here in silence. A bit awkward, but it gave me this weird sensation. It was like I knew that even though I could fall off this rail, I knew she'd jump after me. Knowing this always gave me this queasy feeling. It was a blissful mix of emotions. But I think now is the first time that I ever sat on this rail and thought whether or not I'd jump after her. I guess I never really had to. I think I'll jump even if I didn't want to, since my heart is chained to her.

The sun's starting to break through and everything is under a light, heavenly glow. I hear a door open and I turn to see Louise tiptoeing out her apartment. "Bye Cheese. I'll be back soon," she says in a hushed voice before gently closing the door behind her. I watch her walk towards me with that lopsided grin of hers. Her greasy red hair is pulled sloppily into a side ponytail and she looks like a walking marshmallow in her over bundled coat. "Hi, Mac. You're up early," she greets me, giving me her retainer free smile. I shrug and give her a smile of my own, but it wasn't as animated as hers. "Is Terrence up too?" she asks and I notice her breath as it appears and vanishes into the air. I shake my head, knowing that Terrence must be deep in a coma. Her eyes drop in disappointment and it's now that I remember her insanity-induced crush on my brother. I'm not sure how, but she managed to fall for him back in eighth grade. It was pretty hilarious. Especially when she made up reasons to come over just to see him. It was fun mocking Terrence about it. He really didn't know what to do about it. He didn't like her. She was too young and he found her and her imaginary friend annoying. However, it was the first time a girl ever shown any real interest in him. I'm really not sure how he got her to stop stalking him, but after all this time one would think she'd take a hint.

She's silent for a few seconds and I watch her nose redden from the cold. "You wanna walk with me to the Quik Stop?" she asks as she took a few steps so she's on my right side now. I shrug, hop off the rail and we walk down the steps to the sidewalk.

"What time is it?" I ask mainly as a conversation starter, since we've been walking in silence. She pushes up her layers of sleeves to glance at her watch. She turns her flushed face towards me and says, "'bout nine." My eyes wander and I take in my surroundings. Despite the cold, the snow seems to be melting. It's so dead quiet out here that not even the birds are chirping. I think I might shoot myself if someone doesn't fill the void. Is it always this destitute of noise in the morning? If Goo was here, she'd…I let that thought fall off. I can't be thinking about her in public. My mind sometimes play games with me and I'd like to avoid walking into a car. My eyes fall on Louise, who's walking a steady pace in front of me. She bounces when she walks. It's kind of a weird mix between hopping, waddling and skipping. In my boredom, I watch her ponytail bob wildly and she walks until we get the gas station. "So, why did you need to come here so early anyway?" I inquire of her, silently cursing the Quik Stop for not having the heat up.  
"Oh, I always walk here in the mornings."  
"_Every_ morning? Geez, Louise."  
"Yes?"  
"Huh? No, I wasn't…Oh, never mind. I'm gonna go get some chips or something."  
"'Kay" she says before heading to the fridges for a soda. I let out a loud breath and began idly walking around the small store of the gas station. There wasn't anyone else here from what I can tell, other than cashier. I walk around, only stopping to eye the candy aisle before deciding to not give in to temptation. Near the very end of the candy aisle is a small section that consists of Pepto-Bismol and condoms. And it's here that I see the familiar face of Tzu. Her black hair was done in similar to Louise's, only it was neat and cuter. The brown pilot jacket she wore was kind of big on her. It was obviously a boys. "Hey, Tzu," I greet with a half smile. She turns and beams at me in a way I never thought possible by a person before noon. "So, uh…you looking at contraceptives?" I tease and couldn't resist smiling when her face instantly turns red.  
"N-no. I-I wasn't…My mom…She, um…b-but I wasn't! Um…" she babbles nervously as she tries to defend herself. "M-My mom isn't f-feeling well and had me go get some medicine," she finally stutters out, presenting to me the pink bottle she was holding.  
"Oh, well…I saw the jacket and just thought…" I let my voice trail off, deciding to tease her a little more. I knew very well that Tzu Nakashima was not only a virgin, but was totally anti-sex. She almost fainted in health class freshman year when they showed us this video about pregnancy. Not that you can blame her, that movie was gross. Showing what was going on inside us during intercourse and actually showing the baby come out of that lady…ew, that was a bloody, disgusting image forever sketched into my brain.

"Oh, no, this isn't my boyfriend's jacket. Not that I have a boyfriend...It belongs to my brother," my ears happily receive her voice, distracting me from the horrid mental images. I guess that's what I get for teasing her. "So why are you here?"  
"Oh, just thought I'd get a walk in since I was up. I can walk back with you, if you want."She nods and after she buys her mother medicine and a bag of gummies, we left and it wasn't until we're halfway there that I realize that I ditched Louise.

* * *

"What do you mean you haven't started on it! It's due next week," Tzu scolds as we continue our walk. I shrug, trying to kick the little nagging feeling that I'm doing something wrong. Though I'm sure Louise is fine. I doubt she'd have a panic attack if I went ahead without her. Though, I guess I should have at least told her I was leaving. Tzu is shaking her head at me and I shift back into our conversation.  
"We were only in school a week and the man wants us to write a full-fledged essay. It's ridiculous," I retort. She rolls her eyes at me. The half melted snow sloshes under my feet as I walk. I listen to it instead of Tzu as she goes into an excited rant about the importance of homework and how procrastination was a bad habit. I simply block her out. It didn't take much, since I've been doing it for a whole semester. Though it does take me a minute or two to realize she stopped talking. I turn to glance at her and she wasn't talking anymore. Her cheeks and the very tip of her nose and ears were tinted red from the winter breeze. I wonder how red my face is now.  
"My house is coming up. You wanna race?" she requests, flashing me an evil grin. For a second I had a flashback of when me and Bloo raced to Foster's. It was definitely the race of my life and I ended up in the hospital. So, it only natural that my reply to Tzu is, "Your on!"  
And just like that, we're off like rockets. Running in the cold is not fun. Sharp intakes of cold air are cutting my lungs and my feet keep slipping on the slush. Tzu's comfortably ahead of me and all I can hear is her taunting laugh. "What's wrong, slowpoke?" she laughs over her shoulder.  
"No need to get cocky!" I wheeze out. My run now turning into a light jog, I watch as she skips victoriously. And then, she slips and falls on the cold pavement. "Tzu!" I call out, picking up my pace to get to her. I pull her up in my arms and she coughs.  
"I'm okay," she says as she touches her busted lip and glances at the blood. "I'm fine."  
"Yeah, well…you scratched yourself up a little bit," I say as I pull her to her feet. I helped her up the stoop to her door. I knock on the door as she fumbles to find her keys. A lanky boy opens the door and his eyes immediately connects with Tzu's. "Shit, what the hell happen to you?" he cries out as he let us in.  
"Language, Ryo. Don't go cursing like a sailor, it's stupid and impolite. Expand your vocabulary. Read a dictionary or something."  
"What? What did you expect me say when you leave home fine and come back with a busted lip," Ryo yells. "Did somebody jump? 'Cause if they did, I swear…"  
"Nobody jumped me, Ryo. I just fell, that's all."

I sit Tzu down at the nearest couch and it's now that Ryo takes notice of me. He gives me a quick run over with his eye before sending me daggers. "Who the hell is this?"  
"I'm Mac."  
"Seriously, Ryo. Is that anyway to talk to a guest. Can't you be nice or at least get me something for my cuts," Tzu whimpers and Ryo zips out the room. "Sorry about him."  
"It's okay, I guess. I brother's are suppose to act like that, right?" I say a bit uncertain, seeing as my relationship with my brother is a rickety bridge. Their relationship seem a bit more stronger than mine.  
"He's not my brother. We're not even related. He's my mom's best friend child. We took him in about five years ago when his parents died in a car accident."  
"Oh," is the only thing I managed to muster.  
"My real brother's name is Takashi. Well, technically he's my half brother. My dad had him back in high school, so there's like this huge age gape between Takashi and me. Anyway, he only lives a good hour away. He's cool. We play video games and watch sci-fi and horror movies the whole night when I go over there. Plus, he has the most awesome comic book collection."  
It's weird. It's weird having to sit hear and listen to this. It's weird having to sit hear and listen to this and not want to squirm away. I manly hang out at Foster's and when I wasn't there, I was with Goo. I guess…maybe…I'm moving on, if not just a bit. There's nothing wrong in having a friend in Tzu, is there?

Ryo comes back with a small first aid kit and kneels down in front of Tzu. "Did you get the pink crap, cause when your mom wakes back up she's gonna want it," he says softly before dabbing some rubbing alcohol on one of her cuts. She hisses and he gives out a small laugh. I sit awkwardly on the couch for a minute before making my leave.

* * *

"Where the hell where you, dork?" Terrence hollers at me the moment my foots in the door. He looks like he's going to kill me. "Dammit, Mac. Do you know how freaked my was when you weren't here?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make Mom worry. Is she still here? I'll go talk to her.""You don't have to. Louise said you walked her to the place and I just sorta…told Mom you were helping her out and junk."

"Wait. So your saying that you…covered for me?" I say in disbelief. Maybe that bridge wasn't that rickety after all.  
"Yeah, well…whatever," he mumbles before punching me in the arm. "Don't do it again and I'll kill ya."

* * *

**_not the best thing ever, but...anyway, i won't have internet at home, so updates are skepticle beyond that point._**


	5. Goo: Time

**Goo  
**_**Time**_

* * *

_December_

"…And that's how I got Boo to let me keep the computer," Jacob said as he finishes his story. Sitting next to him in front of his Stone Age computer, I still don't understand why he didn't want me in his room before now. No embarrassing posters or stuff animals laying around. I mean, it's not like I was expecting anything. Its just…There isn't anything wroth hiding in here. The old bunk bed, the desk that was once upon a time in my current room, and his bulky computer is what makes up the room. I scan over the room some more, spotting his overflowing hamper and muddy shoes. I turn back to the computer screen to see Jacob was still failing at Solitaire. He was never good at strategy games, like checkers. Then again, I think my version of it frustrated him.

" It would be more impressive," I say, "if you got her to buy a phone."  
"Yeah, likes that's going to happen," he mutters as he clicks the digital deck repeatedly.

It was silent for a moment. I poke at my swelling tummy as a question pops itself into my brain and out my mouth. "Why do you call her Boo? I mean, I know that's her name and everything…but, you know…"  
He shrugs, his brows furrowed in dismay of not finding his needed card. "I've always called her by her first name, don't ya remember?"

I paused a minute to think back to all the times I've came here to visit. I thought about all the different little kids that use to run around here and played with me…or made fun of me. When you're little, I guess you don't really pay too much attention to the nut and bolts of things. Well, maybe some kids do, but I'm pretty sure I didn't. I didn't really even think about the relationship between the foster kids and my grandma too much. Least of all on Jacob's relationship with her. I tried to think back. I tried to envision a scene from the past when he and Grandma were talking. I couldn't. But I guess if Granny doesn't mind him calling her Boo, I guess I don't really care. So I shrug and say, "Yeah," like I'm bored, which I sort of am. I then spot a small picture frame and reached over him to get it. His brows furrows again, but I'm not sure if it's because of the game or the fact that me and my belly bump is climbing over him. When I got the picture, he sends me a weird glance from the corner of his eye. He was biting his lower lip, like he was preventing himself from saying something. It was somewhat similar to the face Mac makes when I'm holding something fragile and…_Oh_. Jacob doesn't want me holding it. Why does everybody think I'll brake something? I mean, it's not like I'm a klutz or anything. I place the frame on the desk and I stare at it like that. Even though he's pretending not to have a hawk eye on me, I can tell that his face relaxes a bit.

I turn my attention back to the frame to get a good look at the picture. It was a girl leaning against some old, beat up truck. I tried to keep all the questions bubbling inside me to stay exactly there. Inside my head. I glance at Jake and he sighs, as if ready for my assault of questions. I turn back to the picture, taking in all the details. The picture it self looked worn, like he had it stashed in his pocket before upgrading to the frame. The girl's skin was creamy. Her glaring brown eyes, shiny. Her short, black hair had streaks of hot pink. Her face seems soft, despite the sadistic face she's making. She's definitely Hispanic.

She's all dressed up in black and pink gear. From her leather jacket to her combat boots, the outfit amazes me. She looks like a cross between a biker chick and a punk. I loved it!

I wonder who she is. Jacob's girlfriend? Friend? Pen pal? Ex-girlfriend? Long-lost relative? I didn't ask Jake anything about her. A byproduct of not talking for a while was determining when I should respond, if at all. Another byproduct would be keeping things in my head without realizing it, but that's not important. Well, it sort of is…Anyway, the point is that Jake probably doesn't want me pushing questions on him. So, instead, I imagine.

She's too cool to be his girl, so their just close friends, I've decided. She's been playing guitar since she was twelve…and was a prodigy. She played in a band and they'd practice every night, not caring about disturbing the peace. They'll drive around in that old pick-up truck and hang during school hours 'cause driving to town just for school was lame. She'd smoke in Old Millard's field, the way I've heard the bad apples do at night. I picture her on a motorcycle, driving the two hour drive into town on a starry night. She'll be going to some underground teen club, where she has a gig. The moment she steps on the stage, the crowd would cheer, her face and music familiar to them. I bet she did whatever she wanted. I bet she felt like royalty in her combat boots and fishnet stockings. I imagine her growing bored of this countryside town and running away. Far away. Never to be heard again. Yeah, I can see that happening.

Satisfied with my story and my curiosity not willing me to ruin it with the truth from Jacob, I push the frame back a little. I turn to the computer screen to see he started a new game of solitaire. The silence of the room just came to my attention, so I spit out a random question. "You're Mexican, right?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Speak Spanish."

He turns away from the computer to give me a funny look before saying, "Just 'cause I'm a Mexican, doesn't mean I speak Spanish, Goo. I can speak as much Spanish as you can speak Japanese."

"Baka, nihon ni iku mae ni, taisetsu na goku o atama ni irete okimashita."

He stares at me dumbfounded. I smile. It's pretty hilarious. The look on his face, I mean. His shocked face then turns into a half-smile.

* * *

"Granny, I'm going to the library!" I yell as I zip up my coat. She magically appears next to me. She pulls down my hat so that it covers my ears, as if I was going into a blizzard or something. I mean, yeah it's cold. But it's nothing like home where it's probably buried in snow.  
"You don't plan on going by yourself are you?" she dares. I shake my head 'no' and explain that Jake would be my body guard, even though I don't really see the point of him coming with me. I mean, who's going to abduct me? No one lives out here besides old people.

Jake, all bundled up for just a few measly winds, came back in from warming the car. I'm pretty sure he'll go nuts if he spent a winter over my house. I can see him now, all cuddled up under a ton of blankets in front of the heater. I silently laugh, figuring I'll spare him and let him visit in the summer. I then pause, realizing that I _expect_ him to come visit me after this is all over. His gloved hand takes me by the wrist and we walk out the door to the car. He helps me to the car, a precaution to the somewhat icy ground. I gave up protesting Grandma's precautions to the outside. I mean, I know I'm pregnant and all, but I think I can walk without somebody helping me. I've been walking on ice for years. It didn't really matter, I guess. Once I'm safely in the car, Jacob walks around to the drivers side. He waves to Grandma, who's standing in the doorway as she watches us leave.

"So you know, this is the last day we'll be neighbors?" I say to him as I write my name with my finger on the fogged window.  
"Huh?…Oh, yeah. Tomorrow you'll be in the room downstairs…" he mumbles to me. He's then real quite, like he's thinking of something. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but closes it. I hate it when people do that. "You know what you're gonna get Boo for Christmas?" he says a few minutes later. I shrug, doodling nonsense onto the glass.  
"It's usually just me and Boo," he mutters, "We don't do too much on Christmas. She cooks. We eat. She gives me a couple of things and I'll give her one, big thing. And we spend the rest of the day downing eggnog and watching the specials on TV. But since you're here, we may do something different. Who knows? But I kind of just…I wanna say that I'm happy you'll be here, you know, for Christmas and stuff."  
I couldn't help, but smile. It's strange. I mean, we didn't really talk when I arrived. I wasn't talking at all actually. But he acted so weird towards me because I was pregnant. And then we had that fight, where I declared my eternal hatred towards him. But now, it seems, that we're friends. Then again, I guess it was only make sense that we'll become friends. I'm currently living with him, we get home schooled together, and I apparently can't going anywhere without him if Granny isn't there. If we weren't friends, then all of this would be very awkward. I mean, seriously!

Only when the engine dies is when I realize we're there. Without Grandma's watchful eyes, I climb out the car by myself and hurry inside. I make my way to a computer and quickly sign on the internet.  
"You act like you're gonna die if you don't check your e-mail," Jacob's voice comes from behind me. "It can't be that important."  
I ignore him. Who cares if I look desperate? I am desperate! This is my only means of communication to Mac. I needed to see his reply to my message, even if it was only a sentence. I stifle a shriek when I see he's replied, ignoring my other messages. I open it and read it over. When I got to the end, my face became heated from the memory.

" 'Do you remember the chocolate bunnies?' What does that mean?"

I froze, remembering Jake was behind me. My face was now burning from embarrassment. I certainly wasn't going to tell him what happened at Foster's that day. We aren't _that_ close!  
"Can you give me a little privacy, please," I mutter to him, figuring this was the best way out. He shrugs, walking over to the computer across from mine. I turn back to the screen, my mind becoming clouded with memories again. It's been kind of fun out here with my granny and Jake. But I really miss Mac. I now have an intense desire to kiss him…hold him…make love to him. I want to feel his arms around me. I want him to hug me tight into a ball against him, the way he does when we're alone. To hear him softly whisper he loves me, the way he did over and over when he wants me to fall asleep in his arms. I suddenly feel like crying and I try to suck it up as I write my reply. "I wanna go, now," I murmur over to Jacob after I hit the 'send' button.

* * *

_January_

I lay in my new bed, staring at the ceiling of my new room. I rub my swollen tummy, wondering what to name the child inside it. I shrug to myself, giving up. My parents let me name myself, which, in hindsight, might not have been the best of ideas. But they wanted me to express myself. They never smothered my creativity. Then again, if they had put a limit on it, then I probably wouldn't have made all those imaginary friends. I mean, sure, the main reason I made so much was because I was lonely, but my creativity was a factor in overloading Foster's so many times. Then again, if I didn't make all those imaginary friends, I probably wouldn't have met Mac…

A light bulb goes off and I decide to let Mac decide. Mac will name our child. I'll send him an e-mail telling him such and I'll tell him to make sure it's unique and special and…What am I thinking. Mac can't name it. He named his imaginary friend Bloo! _Bloo_! Not very creative, if you asks me. I close my eyes, deciding I'll contemplate this later.

I can feel Mac against me. In his warm embrace, I feel forever loved. He says something, but I can't hear it. Then, everything gets darker and darker until I can no longer see. I no longer feel his arms around me. I feel lost. I feel alone. I trip and fall to my death.  
It knocked me out of my sleep. Tears were swelling in my eyes. I barely opened them, not even enough to see. I just laid there in my bed and cried.

"G-goo?" came a voice.

I ignored it.

"Goo are you alright? You're shaking…"

It wasn't the voice I longed to hear.

"…Y-you're scaring me, Goo."

I didn't look up or acknowledge to voice in any way.

"Should I get Boo?"

I wanted it to go away, but when I heard the foot steps I reached out to it. I held a handful of fabric. I didn't care enough to decipher if it was boxers or a shirt I was holding on to. "Stay," I hear myself sob. I still didn't look at the person as tears ran down my face to the pillow. I let go of him and a few second later I felt the weight of the bed shift. Hesitant arms wrap around me. It wasn't Mac. I turn into his chest, anyway. I soak up his shirt with tears as he awkwardly rubbed my back. "I-I…m-miss…I w-want…M-Ma…" I hear myself fumble out.  
"I um…," he whispers nervously. I can feel his heart pounding. "I know you miss your home…and that guy…but, um…it's not like you're gonna be here forever. You're gonna leave us and go back to him…," he whispers into my ear. His words were meant to be encouraging, but his sad voice made me feel bad. I take hold of him, hugging him ten times stronger.  
"I…I love him," I sputter out.  
"I know…I've just gotten too use to ya, I guess."  
"I l-love you and gra-granny too."  
"I know…I wasn't asking you to choose," he says and I know he means it. It's really quite as I cry into his shirt. I keep crying until I forget why I was crying in the first place.

I woke up, surprise to find myself alone. Did I dream Jake came into my room? If so, then that's definitely going on the list of weirdest dreams. I slowly got up, my nostrils instantly became filled with the scent of pancakes. That was weird. The fact that Grandma didn't wake me for breakfast, not the fact that I smell pancakes. Nothing weird about pancakes. Just weird that Granny didn't wake me. I was about to head to the kitchen when Granny came in with a plate of strawberries and pancakes.  
"Oh, you're up," she says in delight. "Jacob said you weren't feeling well, so I was gonna let you sleep in."

I nod. She gave me a kiss and a invite to come paint with her when I'm done eating, before she left. I sat in my room, silently eating when I saw Jacob pass by. "Hey, you!" I called out to him. He walks backwards until he hits my doorway.  
"Yeah?"  
"I um…I wanted to thank you for…last night, I mean," I say and his cheeks became red. He shrugs and was about to leave. "Did you mean it?" I ask.  
"What?"  
"Did you mean it when you said you loved me and didn't want me to leave?"  
"I never said that!" Jake sneers, blushing. I give him a look and he gets a little less defensive. He shrugs.  
"I dunno. Your growing on me. Your kinda like a little sister, I guess."

"How can you think of me as your _little_ sister? I'm older than you! I mean, if--"  
"_**What I mean is**_," he yells over me,"I know when you leave that I'll…you know…miss you and junk," his voice getting really low at the 'miss you' part.  
"Hmmm."  
"What?"  
"I don't really know when I'll be leaving. I mean, I like it here, but I really do wanna go home…"  
"You miss your boyfriend…it's understandable, I guess."  
"It's not just that…I miss my parents, my friends, everything. Here, I spend all my time with you. Don't take that the wrong way. I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy your company or anything. Its just…I don't know!" I said, not really sure what I'm talking about anymore. "Can I talk to you…about Mac?"  
"Who? Oh, yeah, your boyfriend. Um…Honestly…"  
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry I even asked."  
"Hey, big brothers shouldn't have to listen to their little sister's about boyfriends."  
"I'm older than you! You can't--"  
"Technically, I'm your uncle," he cuts me off, "It's either big bro or Uncle Jacob, make your choice."

"You're such a prick," I say, giving him a slight shove.  
"Don't touch me," he says half-jokingly, lightly slapping my hand away.

* * *

_**A/N: Hello everyone. I know it's been a while, but I had no internet. Was this chapter worth the wait?…probably not. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. the japanese said earlier translates to "Idiot, before going to japn, i learned some useful phrases by heart." anyway, in my mental timeline of how things progress, i do believe Goo is all caught up with mac. new chapter coming soon. will be way better, promise.**_


	6. Terrence: Hate

_**Warning: It's the Terrence side story! Because of which, grammar may be more off than usual, and the level profanity usage may be increased. **_

* * *

**Terrence  
**_**Hate…**_

* * *

_Late November_

Damn it, it's getting dark. I take one, long drag from my cigarette before flicking it onto the pavement, and I start walking again. I hate not having a car. Now I got to walk to and from this stupid job. I hate that dumb job. _Julio's _…What kinda Mexican place is that? There's only one Mexican working at that damn place, anyway. And those customers didn't even tip me…they never tip me. And then there's that blonde bastard, Trevor. Always getting on my nerves with his constant bullshit talk and that damn corvette. Guess what, loser! No one cares what your daddy can buy for you! Your still got to work this dead-end job like the rest of us. I hate Trevor. That jackass. He can¾_Beep_

I look up at the sound of the horn to see a van slowly approaching me. I keep walking, but the car slows down to my pace. The driver rolls down the window. It's a girl. Her hair's in one of those sloppy buns with the chopsticks in it. I like those. She's kinda cute.…Probably just wanna ask me for directions or something. "Hey, we're you headed?" her smooth, familiar voice calls to me, " I could give you a ride."

We keep moving down the street as I try to get over the shock. This was like a gender reversed scene of a Lifetime movie. I wonder if she's a rapist. I doubt she could do anything like that. She ain't big enough to overpower anybody. A mass murderer, maybe? Even I can shoot a gun…(Did I just insult myself?) Maybe I'll be her next victim. Maybe I'll fight her off and get some kinda reward. Or maybe she'll fall for me, and we'll become bandits.

Okay, I really need to stop watching soap operas.

"My apartment isn't far from here," I lie to her, looking forward. By foot, it'll be awhile before I get home."Is that a no?"

I stop walking and she quickly stops the van. I walk around it to the door, and uneasily take my seat next to her. "Just keep straight."

We're quite for a few minutes, and I'm tempted to turn on the radio. However, I keep thinking she's gonna pull out a rifle or something at any second.

"I didn't know you didn't have a car. No wonder you were late."Huh?"If you want, I can always give you a ride from _Julio's_. I give everyone else rides anyway." What the…? How did she…?"Hello? Terrence, are you okay?"

"What the fuck! Stop the car!" I yell out and we screech to a stop. My heart's racing and I'm breathing really hard. All the while, we're sending each other looks; hers of concern, mine is like whatever it is you look like when you meet your stalker."How the hell do you know my name? Or where I work? And…And…Are you freakin' stalkin' me!"

Her face went from concern to something I couldn't name. "You _got_ to be kidding, right?" She says it like _I'm_ the crazy one. But I know which one is the one that's the crazy one. For I know only one of us two are crazy. And the one of the two is the only one that's the one that's crazy…No, wait. Only one of the one isn't…No, that's not right…"You really don't know who I am, do you?"I snap from my thoughts and squint my eyes at her. After a minute, she rolls her eyes at me and lets out a heavy breath. As if she has any right to be annoyed with me. She's the one stalking _me_.

"Kari. Kari Jones. We've been working together at _Julio's _for the past few weeks. I gave you a buck for a soda. Ringing any bells here?"

I stare at her for a sec and I still didn't recognize her. My eyes wonder to here boobs and…_Oh! _It is the chick that gave me a dollar. But I don't remember any soda…Oh, yeah. I use it to help buy some smokes.

"Oh, yeah…"

" '_Oh, yeah…' _Is that all you got to say?"

"Yeah. Are you still gonna drive or what?"

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Hey, bitch, if ya not gonna drive..."

"Get out."

"Hey, wait… I didn't mean ta'¾"

"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING CAR, YOU IMBECILE!"

I walk in the apartment after a long smoke after that damn walk. Damn her! And what in the world does _imbecile_ mean anyway? I mean, who the hell uses those kinds of words, anyway? I hate her. I hate her, her stupid van, her stupid hair….She's stupid, and…dumb! I hate her! Why is it so freakin' dark in here?!

The only light is coming from the mute TV. I flip on the light, and walk over to the living room to find Mac sleeping on the couch. I start leave, but then I notice how red his face is. I squat to the floor and took a good look at him. His closed eyes were puffy and his nose is red like Rudy or whatever the hell that reindeer's name is. He's been crying. He cried himself to sleep. I gently, with a shaky hand, run my fingers through his brown hair. He doesn't stir, so I keep doing it. He looks a lot like Mom. She cried herself to sleep on the couch that day when Dad left…I shake my head, erasing the memory of _Him_ like it was written on an Etch 'n Sketch. I slowly run my fingers from his hair to his face. His cheeks are still warm and wet from crying. He looks so much like a child. He barely looks twelve to me, let alone sixteen…or is he seventeen? Whatever. I go back to finger combing his hair. Don't really know why I do this. Well, ya I do."I love you," I whisper so low I'm not even sure if I said at all.

He stirs a little and my body freezes up. "Goo," he mumbles before falling back into a deep sleep. What the…? Goo? Who's…? Oh, yeah, the girl he knocked up. Is she what he's been crying over? What, did she break up with him or something? Seem like a dumb thing to do. No, wait…that can't be it. Didn't I hear them doing _IT_ just yesterday. Yeah, wasn't she moving or something? Oh, whatever… I look back down at Mac and the idea of kissing his forehead pops into my head. Instead, I stand up, scratch my goatee, and leave. I had enough of this mushy, brotherly affection stuff. Besides, I'd never live it down if the dweeb decided to wake up. But I hope he wakes up soon though. I need him to tell me what _imbecile_ means.

* * *

"Hey, Terry, I need you to take out the trash," Trevor's voice calls out. I hate it when he calls me that. The prick. "Oh, and don't forget to close the dumpster after you get in."

"Screw you, asshole," I say without looking up at him. "Don't you see I'm working?"

"Looks like your just sitting on your ass to me."

Okay, so maybe I am sitting down, nibbling on leftover chips, instead of cleaning off the table, but who cares? Didn't rich boy have anything better to do than watch over me?

He stands therefore a moment too long in silence, and I'm tempted to punch him in the gut before he finally speaks again.

"So uh…Janna says that Kari gave you a ride the other day?" he says, like he's trying to trick me into something.

"Janna? The girl acting like she's from England or whatever? What would she know?"

"Well, those two are kind of friends… So, it's true?"

"What of it?"

"Hey, let me by," Kari's voice carries over the stack of plates in her hands. Trevor takes a step back, leaving a small opening for her to pass between us. She turns sideways and eases her way through. Her chest brushes against my shoulder and I could feel my heart pound against my chest for a second, but I think Trevor got a nice feel of her ass. I hate him. A little more than usual now, for some reason. We both watch her leave, but then I turn back to the leftover chips. Their kind of stale.

"You don't like her, do you?"My head snaps over to him. Is he crazy?

"I don't like that bitch. She's nuts."

"Hmm. Well, that's for the best. She's getting a degree in psychology."

"So?"

"For one, it means she's not going to be working here forever, unlike like you. Which means she's better than you. Too good for. And _way_ out of your league. That, plus she can tell you're a nutjob. But who needs a degree to see that?" he ends with a laugh, walking away before I could say anything. So I flip him the bird, even though he isn't looking. I take another chip.

I stand out back, taking a smoke break. So what if she's in college? Who cares? Rich boy can have her. Who cares if she wants to date the prick who only works here because his daddy wants him to learn 'work ethic' before joining the car dealership. No one gives a shit. He'll probably have her all fat and pregnant before she even gets the damn degree. The thought made me smile, but the anger hits me again and the smile goes away. "Bitch."

"Excuse me?"

I jump at the voice, but quickly recover. "Kari, What ya doing out here?" I asks before stubbing out my cigarette. She frowns before lifting up the trash bags she's holding. "Oh."

She rolls her eyes and says, "I'm not stalking you, Terrence. No need to be a paranoid."

"I ain't a paranoid…or a imbecile!"

"Whatever," she grumbles as she passes me. She tosses the bags into the dumpster before turning towards me. "You know, you were suppose to take out the trash today. Not me."I shrug, not really caring. She stares at me, as if waiting for something. So I answer her with a, "So, what your point?".

She lets out a heavy sigh and gives me that look she gave me when we were in her van. She's waiting. For what, I didn't know. "UGH! Would it kill you to say _thank you_?" she explodes.

"For what? I didn't ask you to take it out."

"God, what's wrong with you?"

"Not a damn thing," I yell. She stomps closer to me with fire in her eyes. Who the hell do she thinks she is, anyway?

"You're such a stubborn…"

"A stubborn what? Say it!" I yell out. I step closer and use my height to hover over her. I gave her a twisted, ugly smile, but she doesn't flinch. She glares at me straight in the eye, and I almost take a step back. I shake off the fear, and look back down at her face. Huh, she's kinda sexy looking when she's all mad and stuff. Damn, I didn't realize how close we were. My stomach knots up at the feeling of butterflies fluttering in it. But not normal butterflies. These butterflies are black, flaming ones straight from hell. I close my eyes and I can smell her lotion or perfume or whatever the hell it is. She smells like vanilla. I like it. It makes me think of cookies. For a second, I can see her laying naked in my arms. But then the vision changes, and I'm seven years old at the mall, and Dad's buying me one of those giant cookies at the food court the way he always did when Mom made us go shopping with her. I miss him…and I want a damn cookie.

"Shit." I step away from her. I feel sick. I think I'm gonna puke or something. God, I haven't seen _his_ face in my head so perfectly since I was eleven. Shit, my sides hurts. Feels like I'm laying on rocks or something. Did I fall? When the hell did that happen?

"Terrence, you okay?"Who was that? Why's everything so dark? Damn, did I just go blind? Oh, wait…my eyes are just closed. I open my eyes and all I can see is Kari's worried face. "Terrence? Should I go get help?"

"N-no," I said before she helps me stand up.

"You're bleeding," she says, grabbing my arm. Her fingers are soft, warm and comforting…but I yank my arm away from her. The hell butterflies are getting annoying.

"I'm fine."

She sighs and takes a step back. "Sorry for caring."

"Well, no one asked you to care or be nice. It's not like we're going to be friends or anything. So why don't you just leave me alone, Ms. Psychic."

"Psychic? What is that suppose to mean?"

"You're the one studying it! Don't you know what it means?"

"… Do you mean psychiatrist?"

"Whatever!"

"I don't get it. Why do you hate me? Is it cause I was nice to you? That I'm in college, and your not? If so, that's really pathetic."

"Just stop it. Your not better than me."

"I never said I was, Terrence."

"But your thinking it. You think your better than me. You and Trevor¾"

"What does Trevor have to do with anything?"

For a moment, I can't talk. In that moment, I thought about what Trevor said to me earlier today. I thought about the hell butterflies. I thought about how mad I got when Trevor got a cheap feel of her ass. I thought about how my heart raced when she touched me, and when she smiled at me when I got in her van. I thought about how Trevor asked her out in front of me no less than thirty minutes ago. I thought about how that made my blood boil so much I had to go out here for a smoke to keep from beating the shit out of Rich boy. I thought about how easily I pictured her naked body against mine. I thought about telling her all of this, but fuck…I'm not really good with emotions and junk.

"Nothing. I'm sorry. Thanks for everything," I spit out. I go back inside and she follows. I see Mac sitting at a table. We make eye contact, but that's it. I keep walking until I'm in the restroom.

I spend the rest of my shift in a stall. When it's over, I go back out to find Mac and Kari talking. I frown. I walk as slow as I could, hoping she would leave before I got there. She didn't. "Terrence is your brother? You two look nothing alike," I overhear her say. My frown deepens. If Mom wasn't around and the person didn't know our parents, they never believe we're brothers. Mac always got compliments of how cute he was when we were younger. He looks a lot like Mom, and everyone told them so. No one ever complimented me. I look more like Dad, and no one mentioned him after he left.

"Yeah, well, weird genetics," Mac says with a weak smile. Sadly, it's the happiest he's been all week. But I don't really care about that right now. Right now, I want to punch his lights out. Kari turns and faces me, a soft smile on her face. My anger goes away and those damn butterflies from hell come fluttering back to my stomach.

"Hey Terrence, want me to drive you guys home?" she asks, before she adds jokingly, "You know, so I can learn where you live. It'll make stalking you a lot easier, you know."

* * *

_Mid-December _

I need to piss. I toss off my sheets and slump to the bathroom to drain myself. Afterwards, I just sorta' stare at myself in the mirror. My skin is so pale…I look like a zombie or something. That's cool. My reflection smiles with me, but then we frown together. My smile sucks. It makes me look weird…even kinda creepy. I didn't notice it until 7th grade when I was laughing it up with some friends at lunch. And then I overheard some girl, who's name I've long since forgotten. Bitch, maybe? Or was it Cunt-Monkey? It doesn't really matter what her name was, for her voice was stuck in my head.  
_"Eww, his smile is so… He looks like a rapist or something."_  
I ain't really sure if she was even talking about me, but I didn't smile much after that…That is, when I wasn't trying to scare the shit out of someone. I use my smile as a weapon, striking a wicked fear into any loser I saw. It was fun, but…I just want a normal smile.

I scratch my goatee and practice a scowl, which looks much cooler than smiling, anyway. I yawn with my reflection, wondering if I should do something 'bout this forming uni-brow. I'm bored, so I used my fingernails to pluck a few of the middle hairs before heading to the living room. "Morn'n, Loser," I yawn out to my little brother as I pass the couch.

"It's twelve thirty."

"So?" I go to the kitchen and pull down a box of cereal. I dig out a handful, and, without even looking at me, Mac says, "Can't you use a bowl?" I roll my eyes at him, wondering if he can see that too. Man, that kid's annoying. Ever since his little girlfriend left, he's been kind of a pain in the ass. The way he mopes around…Seriously, he needs to get a life. I put down the box of sugary flakes and wished he'd leave so I could watch my afternoon soaps. This was the week that we'll find out if it was Enrique or Roderick, Enrique's evil twin brother, that ran away with Enrique's fiancée's mother after kidnapping the neighbor's dog.

"That dude at table six is a real prick," Kari proclaims as she enters through the doors that separated us from the customers. "A prick, eh? Why don't you just say he's a bloody asshole, like everybody else?" Janna says in her fake-ass English accent.

"Why do I even talk to you?" Kari says to her before turning to me. "You'd knock that prick's lights out, wouldn't you, Terrence?" A smile creeps to my face and I nod. "See, that's why he's my favorite."

"No, that's why he's been demoted to busboy. He couldn't play nice with the customers," Trevor smirks, smugly placing a stack of plates in the sink for me.

"Go 'ta hell, asshole," I yell at him.

"See, Terrence says asshole!" Janna cries out, her blonde dreadlocks swinging.

"What is this? A tea party? Get back to work!" the boss man yells before going ghost on us.

"I dunno what that twit is so uptight about. It's not like this place is legit," Janna huffs. Kari picks up her orders, rolling her eyes at Janna.

"They're not doing anything illegal, Jan," Kari says as she went to exit.

"It's a Mexican restaurant and their ain't a single Mexican working the kitchen. That's called false advertisement, love!" I hear Janna say as she too disappears from the room.

I turn back to the sink and halfheartedly scrub the crud off a plate. "So, Terry, you're not going to ask?" Trevor's annoying voice scratches it way into my ears after the girls leave.

"No."

"Oh, don't even…I know it's killing you. So you might as well just ask me," he taunts. If it wasn't for the fact that I really needed this job, I'd probably would have killed this jerk off by now. I look over my shoulder and want nothing more than to knock that smug grin off his preppy boy face.

"I don't care," I spat, scrubbing a plate with force. Maybe I do care a little bit. But damn, if I don't hate this guy. I slam the plate down and it chips a little. A heavy sigh comes from my lips. "'Kay, so what happened, Numb-nuts?"

"Like I'd tell you, Dish boy. Besides, you—"

"Just spill it, Preppy boy, or I'll…"

"May I remind you that you can get fired if you threaten me. Not that a threat coming form a guy in a hairnet is intimidating, but— Oh, wait…Is 'intimidating' too big of a word for you to understand?" he jokes.

"Stop bein' a bitch and tell me," I yell, yanking off the stupid hairnet.

"Alright, alright. We went down to that bistro near that club… You know where I'm talking about. Anyway, by the end of the night, she was begging me to come to her place."

I roll my eyes at him, trying my best not to let my anger show. I wanted to punch him so bad. She hangs out with me more than him, anyway. So I know he's bullshitting me. "Kari didn't let you sleep with her," I laugh at him. I turn back to the dishes as his face turns red.

"Okay, so you caught me. But I did cop a feel."

"Yeah, whatever, Loser," I laugh, splashing him with murky dish water. Some of it gets in his mouth, so he punches me, if you can call that weak thing a punch. My little brother fights better than this pretty boy. But I think this does allow me to smack him around for a bit. His eyes go wide with fear as mine twinkle in delight. This is going to be fun. My fist clenches and the sound of my knuckles popping echoes. Trevor…He may be smarter than me. He may be richer than me. He may even be better than me with his golden boy hair cut and his new Mercedes. But he sure as hell isn't stronger than me. Pounding on him will be a piece a cake. But before I can even get a good swing at him, Kari pops in.

"Hey, Terrence, I was wondering if Mac's coming today," she says, dumping the plates she carried in to the sink.

"No, he's going to his lame job today."

"Okay…so that means you're the only one bumming a ride from me today," she says, more to herself than me. And then it clicks. I'm going to be all alone…with her. Trevor must be thinking the same thing cause he ain't wearing his usual smug smile. I send him a look, but he rolls his eyes at me.

"As if she'll do anything with you…" he whispers to me as she picks up some orders. "Kari, you wanna go out tonight?" he asks, trying to prove his point to me, I guess. She opens her mouth, but then her eyes roll over to me and she closes it. She lets out a sigh and say, "I'm working a little over time tonight and I really need to study. My exams are coming up and I'm just kind of busy…Sorry."

I smile as she disappears through the double doors.

"Here we are," she says as she pulls up to my building. "You're so lucky that your place is on my way home, cause tonight you might have had to walk home," she jokes, at least I think she's joking.

"That would had been shitty."She lets out a slight chuckle before sighing. Her hair was a mess, the chopsticks barely holding up the wild do. Her shirt is soaked in sweat. So much so that I could see the lining of her bra…not that I'm complaining. Though, I think it was a good day to be on dish duty, since she's way more tired than me.I feel like I should do or say something. But all I do is get out of the car.

"Tell Mac I said hi," she says. I nod, even though I didn't plan on doing it. Okay, I really need to say something to her.

"Bye."

I hear her say, "adieu," before I close the door and she drives away.

* * *

_**A/n: sorry. i know this isn't what you've been waiting for..**_.


	7. Terrence: Hate No Wait,Love?

_**Warning: It's the Terrence side story! Because of which, grammar may be more off than usual, and the level profanity usage may be increased. **_

* * *

**Terrence  
**_**Hate…No Wait, Love?**_

* * *

_Late January _

"Bye Boys," Mom says one last time before squeezing us in a hug. We watch her walking into the crowd and I wait until I can no longer see her to turn to Mac. He's still looking into the crowd, a tear building in his left eye. Shit, now I feel like crying. I put a hand on his shoulder and he looks up at me. I let the hand drop from his shoulder. He's looking at me like he wants me to hug him or something. I punch his arm.

"What, is the baby gonna miss his mama?"

He rolls his eyes at me, and I can no longer tell what he's feeling. I try to act like I don't care as we leave the airport. In the car, he stares out the window in silence, just like he did on the way to the airport. "You hungry?" I offer, trying to talk to my new responsibility. But he just shrugs. Fuck it. I turn on the radio. Heavy metal blasts through the car's speakers. I smile as he frowns. He hates heavy metal and dark rock music. I turn up the volume as high as it gets, my smile growing as I watch him from the corner of my eye. He tries to turn it down, but I slap his hand away. He says something, but I can't hear him over the music. But just as the songs fades out, he yells, "TURN THIS SHIT DOWN!" I pretend I couldn't hear him, and his face gets red. He punches my arm. "Bitch," I hiss, before letting go of the wheel to jab him a few times. I've been pretty nice to the dork. I haven't fucked with him in a while, not even about him being a bitch about his missing girlfriend. Hell, I even covered for the loser when he disappeared that morning with the freaky redhead with the retainer. Why is he so fucking pissed? Cause I played the music too loud? I did it just to annoy him a bit cause he wasn't talking. I didn't think the dork work try to fight me about it.

We punch and scratch each other for only about a second. The car starts to swerve off coarse, and we both stop fighting to grab the wheel. When the car shifts back in place, I turn down the radio. Mac huffs, and turns away from me. A new song begins to play, but it's not as hardcore as the last. It's a bit more mainstream…I know this song. Mac knows it too. We listen to it in silence for a few seconds before we're humming to it. We glance at each other, a soft smile tugging on our lips as the chorus began and we shouted it like it was the best damn thing: _"I! HATE! EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! SO! WHY DO! I LOVE YOOOOOOU?"_

* * *

"Well, look whose got a car!" Kari greets us, standing in today as a hostess at _Julio's_. Of all the places we could have eaten, Mac had to choose here. You'd think the kid would be tired of this place. I know I am. She lead us to our table, a huge smile on her face. I listen half heartedly as she questions Mac about school and some video game featuring comic heroes. We take our seats, and Kari turns to me. "Janna is having her birthday party at Club Infinity tonight," she says, and I shrug. So? I don't like Janna, and she doesn't like me.

"She said that you could come, if you want."Really? Maybe she wasn't as much of a bitch as I thought.

"Are you going to come?" she asks, and it feels like I'm back in high school and she's asking me out. I nod, trying my best not to smile.

But, it wasn't a date. I sit with Janna and her friends at the bar. They're all laughing, but I don't join in. I'm too busy staring at the door. Where is she?

"Okay, okay. Hmm…Trevor, what's the worst thing you've ever done and gotten away with it?" some guy I've never met before asks Rich-boy. I turn back to the game, watch Trevor take two shots of tequila, and tried to remember what was this game they're playing.

"Crashing my uncle's Cadillac into a Office Depot, and blaming it on my fourteen year old cousin," he say like he should get a medal or something. The group chuckles as he explains his story.  
"Lame," I mumble as he downs more liquor.

"Oh, yeahs, Terry? Well, joo do?" Trevor says, sounding like an idiot. "Murder?"  
Janna laughs. "Please, Terrence only acts tough," she screams over the music, losing her fake accent the more she drinks. "He turns into a little puppy dog when Kari's around. Isn't that right, Terry," she coos to me like I'm a dog. This is bull shit. I get up to leave, but when I spin around I knock into someone. Kari.

"Uh, sorry," she mutters. She clung to me when I bumped her, trying to keep herself from falling.  
"It's okay."  
She finds her footing, but we keep holding on. Those damn hell butterflies are fluttering in my stomach again, scorching me with their flames.

"Yuck! Someone tell the DJ to pick up the beat," Janna yells as a slow beat song begins to play.

"You wanna dance?" I nod, even though I suck at dancing. She sways her hips, and I copy her movements.  
"Relax," she breaths out a laugh. Her warm breath tickles my neck. I lean into her, and pull her closer. A minute of me sniffing her vanilla scent passes, and she rests her head on my chest as we dance. My fingers inch lower to her hips. The butterflies turn into full fled fire-demon birds; pecking, clawing, and flapping my insides around. My hands are sweating. I'm choking on her sweet smell. I can feel the blood pumping through my veins. I think I might faint. God, I think I'm gonna die. I don't let go though, but I ain't sure why.

"Hey," some bastard yells over the music to us. The beat changes and a faster song now blasts through the club's speakers. I turn to see that it's Trevor calling to us. "Lemme dance with _my_ girl."  
Kari eases away from me and Trevor stumbles over to her. What a lightweight. He couldn't have drunk _that_ much.

"Care to dance with the birthday girl?" Janna coos to me, coming out of nowhere. I hate her, but I dance with her anyway. She smells like deodorant…I can live with that. I try to enjoy the feel of her body, touching her in places I didn't have the balls to try to touch with Kari. Janna doesn't mind. She laughs as my hands grope her scrawny ass. She grinds on me, and I copy her movements. We've done this before…But last time it we were teens; last time it was at my house during my house party, when Mom had left away for business; last time we had sex. Last time she ignored and avoided me throughout the rest of high school. Hadn't spoken a word to me until recently, in that fake accent of hers…The bitch.

I glance over at Kari and Trevor dancing. They got a gap between them, unlike everyone else. "It's funny," Janna says in my ear, never stopping her pelvis from grinding into mine. Her breath is hot, and reeks of beer. I never liked the smell of liquor on a woman. It always makes me think about the day after my dad left, and how Mom laid lifeless on the sofa, cradling a glass bottle. It was the only time I ever saw her drink. Her face was so…  
"I thought I was better than you, but it turns out that we're pretty much the same."

I realize that Janna has been talking to me this whole time, but I don't care. I look back over at Kari. The gap is gone, and Trevor's grinding on her…Did he just lick her face? God, I'm gonna puke.I turn away from them, and burry my face in Janna's blonde hair.  
"…Anyone with eyes can tell you want Kari. But let's face it. Girls like me don't get with guys like Trevor, and boys like you don't get with girls like Kari. And when people like them try to get together, it's perfect. We don't stand a chance."

I dare myself to look at them again. She's walking off somewhere, and he's right behind her. Damn. I frown. So what? Who cares if she wants the rich boy? That bastard could fuck any day of the week, and I wouldn't give a shit. They can do whatever the hell they want. And what's so special about Kari anyway? So what if she cute…So what if she's nice to me…So what if she's the only person that ever punch fear in my gut, or that she's the only girl that ever made those damned butterflies flutter in my stomach…So what if she's my only friend, and that she's the only woman I ever l-lo…Damn it!

I push Janna off me. She makes some weird noise, before yelling something at me. I keep walking. I kick open an emergency exit, and walk outside. I punch the concrete wall, but it doesn't help. I ignore the pain, and pull out a cigarette. I glare at my hand and little flecks of blood on it as I light my cigarette.  
_"You know, smoking is really bad for your health."  
_He ignore her voice in his head, the same way he did when she had actually spoken them to him. She had listed all the bad junk that comes with smoking, but it didn't make me want to stop. It was only when she said she didn't like the smell of cigarettes that I had tried to stop. I didn't wanna turn her off by smelling like a ashtray. But I still carried a pack of smokes, so I could blow one when she leaves. I wonder what she would have said if she knew that I use to do hard drugs…or, if she had known me back then, what she would have done when I OD-ed and had to get my stomached pumped. …WHO CARES!

I flick the bud off to the alley before pulling out the pack again for another smoke.

"…you're drunk, Trevor," I heard Kari's voice. I walk a little, and spot them by his Mercedes. She's holding a cell phone to her ear. "Who joo callings?" Trevor yells drunkenly, reaching for the phone.

"I'm getting you a cab; you're too drunk to drive."

"Joo can drive me, _vroom_," he says, cupping her breast. She pushes him away, and frowns. He pushes her back, knocking the phone out of her hands.

"Damn it, Trevor!"  
She squats to the ground, searching for her phone. He pulls her up, or tries to, cause she falls backwards on the ground. She lets out a cry that causes me to cringe. My feet start moving toward them. She gets up and he tries to make out again, to get pushed away again. She punches him and tries to walk away. I stop walking. She's mad, but I wasn't sure if she's leaving the drunken bastard, or if she's just trying to calm down before going back to help him. It doesn't matter. Trevor grabs her and slings her back into his car. She punches him in the jaw, and much harder than last time.

"Bitch," I hear him hiss before he returns the punch. I run. He pins her to the car, and punches her face again…I rip him off her, slamming him to the hard, solid ground. She stumbles upright, wiping the blood from her mouth. Tears spill from her eyes, but she wipes them away too. I jump on top of him, punching and slamming his head into the concrete. He somehow manages to flip me and we wrestle, swinging at each other each chance we got. I pin him, and go back to punching him head to the ground, again and again and again and again…

"Terrence!" Kari yells out. "Terrence stop! You're going to kill him! Stop!"  
I didn't want to stop, but she sounded scared. I punch him one last time, before rolling off him. He coughs and curls over. Kari helps me up.

"Your bleeding…"

I don't care.

* * *

**BonusChapter**

**Goo**

I stare at him dumbfounded. Jacob squirms a bit under my stare, uncomfortable. But who cares! "Why would you wanna know _that_? I mean, it's not it's the most interesting story. And besides, how does this question even pop into your mind?"

"I don't know," he says with a shrug. "I answered your question…you have to answer mine."

Well, that's true. I asked him who was the girl in the picture he has framed in his room. I was shocked to learn that it was an old picture of his birth mom. My guess was _way_ off. But still…why in the world would he even think to ask that question?

"Are you going to answer it, or not?"

"Okay, okay. Settle down," I say, relaxing into his computer chair. He sit up on his bed, looking at me, waiting…**.** "We we're at his house when I told him I was pregnant. He was quite, then he held in silence. He told me that everything would be okay. We sat in each others arm for a while, then we kiss."

"That's it?"

"Well…he did ask me to marry him. I told him no though. I mean, it was sweet and all, but I didn't want him marry just because…I tried to convince me to do it, saying that it wouldn't be the only reason. But we settled on him just asking me again in the future. Then we start kissing again, and he started to grope my¾"

"Okay, that's enough!" he screams over me. I laugh. I try to stop, but I start to giggle and it erupts into laughter again. "If you don't stop laughing, we'll stop playing this stupid game. That shuts me up. I flip the quarter. "Heads," he shouts as it descends to the floor.

"It's tails," I declare victoriously. "Now I get to ask you another question. And since you want to get all personal¾""Your last question was personal too!"

"Yeah, but I didn't know that though."

"Okay, fine. What do ya want to know?"

I sit and thought it over. What to ask? What to ask? _Why he never bothered to learn Spanish?_…Nah. _Why didn't he want me in his room before? …_Eh, lame. Oh, know!"Why do you flinch when I touch you?"

He pauses at the question. His eyes moves from me to the wall. He looks like he's thinking, contemplating…He also looks a bit sad.

"I don't think…I don't want to tell you, at least not yet. But it isn't you…I do it when pretty much anyone touches me."His voice was smooth, calm, and yet, still sad. And I couldn't help but wonder if something horrible had happened to him.

"I won't hurt you," I say to him. He scoffs and turns his head so that he's facing me again.

"I know _that_. I'm not afraid of you."

"Oh, well, you should be. I'm a vampire! _Grr_!"

"Vampires don't growl."

"In my world they do."

"In your world, elephant's talk."

"Don't be ridiculous...Elephant's _moo_."


	8. Mac: Ambiguity

**Mac**

_**Ambiguity **_

* * *

The drive to the airport was a silent one. I had stared out the window, every thing on the outside one big blur. Now, Mom is saying goodbye to us as she leaves for her trip. I'm tempted to ask her to stay, but squish down the urge. This is a big opportunity for her…I listen as she reminds Terrence of his age and how he needs to make sure I'm taken cared of…A part of me resents this statement. I'm not eight anymore. This whole conversation is unnecessary. She should be reminding him to care for the apartment, to pay bills, and other things that should have been more of a priority than him being my shadow. She kisses us both on the cheek before pulling us into another hug. I watch as she leaves, and I can feel Terrence's hand on my shoulder. I turn to him, blinking back the tear that started to weld up in my eye. His eyes held real emotion and, for a moment, I think we're about to experience on of those family moments that seem to only occur on television. His hand drops from my shoulder, and a smirk crawls devilishly on his face. He gives my arm a half hearted punch.  
"What? Is the baby gonna miss his momma?"

"Whatever," I mumble as I make my way outside to the car. I want to go home."You hungry?" he asks when we're on the road, but I barely acknowledge his voice. I shrug, staring out the window. I haven't heard from Goo all this month. Opening my e-mail to spam everyday is getting depressing. I…The music blares into my ears, interrupting my thoughts. God it's going to deafen me. I glare over at Terrence, who's smiling victoriously. I hate this shit. I hate him, this music genre, this blasted stereo…Wait, I know this song.  
_Goo had it on her ipod. We were listening to her music together sometime last year at Foster's. Bloo had downloaded a bunch of music on it, and we were going through the then massive list, deleting song files. When the demonic like voice had boomed through the speakers, I thought it was one of Bloo's careless downloads. "What?…I like it," she had said defensively.  
"I'm just…shocked, is all. It's not really something I'd expect you listen to. I mean, you're more of a bumble-pop girl."  
"Well, yes, I do __**love**__ pop music. Even J-pop! I always wanted to be a pop star, you know. But this song isn't bad. If you can get over the not-so-peppy beat, it's awesome! I mean, the lyrics are awesome. It's about this guy who's chasing the ghost of his dead girlfriend, it's really sweet…Well, except for the part when she commits suicide, but that's beside the point. Plus I love the screaming parts. Sometimes it's just fun to SCREAM!" she said in super speed, and I was forced to listen to her scream in singsong_.

Damn it! Turn this song off! I reach for volume knob, but he smacks my hand away.

_We had listen to the song a few times, the shrieking voice no longer scaring me. However, it did stabbed a headache into me. I couldn't quite understand what was being sung, and didn't comprehend the 'man chasing a lover's ghost' story that was supposedly laced within the lyrics. All I heard was wailing guitars, slamming drums, garbled up words, and screams that sounded like cries from hell. _

"Turn it down, Terrence!" I order, but he doesn't hear me, or at least he's pretending not to hear me. My ear drums feel like they're about to burst. The car is actually vibrating from the radio's loud pursuit to make me deaf. I'm certain you could have heard us a mile away.

"_Come on, Mac. It's not that bad," she said, wearing her usual grin. "Listen to it again, I'm sure it'll grow on ya." "No, it won't. Terrence has been listening to stuff like this for years.""Oh, I get it now. This is all very simple psychology, and I should know," she said, and I wasn't too sure what she meant by that. She then cleared her throat and spoke as professionally as she could, "You affiliate this type of music with your brother, who, let's face it, is a douche. So you hate the music because of association. Which isn't really fair, is it? So now we'll listen to it __**again**__. This time, I want you to just close your eyes and listen."_

_I rolled my eyes, but did as I was told. _

"TURN THIS SHIT DOWN!" I yell at him, but he continues to ignore me. Anger bubbles up, making my face hot. I punch him.

_I closed my eyes, letting the dark music fill my ears. I listen to the man as he sung normally for the first few seconds, and I mentally prepared myself for the darker, hellish screaming voice to come. Her hand entwined itself with mines, and I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was her big, brown eyes staring intensively at me. The singer says something, but I only understood it cause Goo repeated it: "I can't hear you. I can't see. But I feel you in my heart…"It sounded beautiful, and if the singer wasn't screaming it like damned soul, I'd probably would have gotten it quicker…I pulled her into my arm, no longer listening to the song. She leaned and gave me the sweetest kiss I had ever received. "Mac, I…I think I love you."_

Terrence lets go of the wheel, and he jabs me in my arm and shoulder. We swing at each other for only a second or two, though it felt longer, because the car began to swift off the road. We reach out for the wheel, pulling it back us place. I turn away from him, the memories of Goo flooding through my head making me feel raw. Terrence finally turns down the volume as a new song begins to play. And, strangely, the song is all it takes to lift me. We're both smiling as we sing the contradicting words of the chorus together, at the top of our lungs. A not so silent compromise.

* * *

"Bye, Mac," Tzu waves as I leave her house. I wave back to her as I start walking toward my apartment. I stayed longer than I intended, it's now dark out. I wonder if Terrence is home yet?

"…I feel bad for just leaving him there," I hear a familiar feminine voice say as I step into the apartment.

"I don't," Terrence gruff voice reaches my ears. She breathes out a soft laugh. It's Kari. She's straddling him on the couch, a rag in her hand. She's gently wiping his face with it as she whispers something to him. He smiles. They stare at each other, and I feel awkward watching this tender moment. I felt like I was intruding. I try to ease across inconspicuously, as she leans down, as if to kiss him. But she spots me, and quickly disentangles herself from Terrence. "Hey Mac," she greets with a smile. "You hungry?" she asks, the same way she did before placing a basket of chips and salsa in front of me at _Julio's_. I shake my head, but my stomach growls in protest. I should've eaten at Tzu's house. Terrence's glare tells me the same. Kari smiles and makes her way across to the kitchen. I watch her fumble around the kitchen, looking for appliances and something to make. I sat and watched her cook, Terrence joining me after about thirty minutes. I gave him a looking over. What happened to him? He had scratches all over, a knot on his forehead, ugly bruises on his arms, and his right hand looked pretty banged up. Yet, he's wearing this huge grin on his face. A real one. His eyes glued to Kari…When did they become a couple? I murmur my question to him, and his eyes went wide. He glances franticly over at Kari, who seemed to not have heard me. "We're not. Shut it," he says harshly in a half whisper, lifting up his fists to emphasize his threat. His knuckles have flecks of blood on them.

She serves us the meal and we eat together with light conversation until she glances at the clock. "It's getting late."

"You can stay," Terrence says, a little too quickly. Kari creamy skin turns red, and Terrence's pale skin follows suit. "N-not like that…I meant…"She nods, but says, "That's okay. I'll just come over tomorrow, okay?" He nods, and she leaves.

* * *

April showers…I stare out the window, ignoring Tzu chattering on about what we should say for our presentation. The rain outside is light, and barely audible in the human barren classroom. The sky is gray and dull, much like this room. I've never been too big of a fan of rainy days. Goo likes rainy days. It's the perfect chance for her to get to use her overactive imagination. She made days like these fun…memorable…happy…God, I miss her. I haven't seen her face in so long. Haven't smelled her sweet scent, or heard her joyous voice…Haven't heard from her at all actually. In fact, I haven't gotten a single e-mail over the past two months--Not even on Valentine's Day. Thinking about it, there's something sad and something akin to pathetic about how I've desperately checked my e-mail. I feel like I'm losing her…No, it feels like she never existed. It's as if she was only a dream, and I'm only now realizing it.

There are days now that I don't think of her at all. When realizing this, I feel bad. I feel bad for any laugh or smile or good moment that occurred without her presence. It's silly, though. I shouldn't feel guilty for a moment of happiness.

But I can't help it.

I stay up late some nights, wondering: Why hasn't she written me? What is she thinking? Is she as miserable as me? Has she made new friends? How was home school working out? Did she miss me as much as I do her? Are there days where she forgets I exist? How big is she, now that she's only a month away from delivery? Does she know the baby's sex? Has she thought of a name? When is she coming back to me? Will she ever come back to me? Will I ever see my child? Will I ever get to a happily-ever-after? Will I stuck in this drama forever? Will I become accustom to it? God, I hope not.

"Mac, are you listening to me?" Tzu's voice manages to break through to my ears. I turn to face her. She sighs. "You space so easily," she continues, a hint of annoyance in her voice. She gazes out the window as she says, "Maybe we should finish our project tomorrow?" I nod in agreement. We pack our stuff up and exit the room together. The school is strange after hours. It's way too silent.

I stop walking when I realize the soft patter of Tzu's Converses are missing. I turn and walk back to Tzu, who's bent over tying those black and white shoes. She looks up at me and gives me that mind-blowing, genuine smile that I have yet to see challenged. It's strange that such a nice trait bugs me so much. But then that feeling laces itself around my gut. It's that same feeling I had when I walked Tzu home from the gas station back in early January. It's something akin to guilt, but I don't know why.

_I'm not doing anything wrong,_ I remind myself. _It's okay to have friends. It's okay to be a little happy. _

I help her back up, and she grins again. She takes a step closer and gaze into my eyes with such wonder and tenderness that…

Damn it! How could I've been so stupid?

She gently cups her hand in mine, and I freeze. My heart's pounding and my mind is shouting for me to do something. But I'm unable to react.

I can't believe this! Why didn't I see this coming?

"Mac, I…" her voice is low as it trails off, and I don't want to know what she was going to say. Though I have an idea.

Her eyes become lidded, and, in the midst of my mental freak out, she stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. And it's then that I have a moment of weakness.  
How easy will it be to just close my eyes? To pretend that these lips upon mine were someone else's? Someone with chocolate skin and dark curls?  
It would be easy. Really easy. But also really, really wrong. Allowing her to kiss me isn't going to solve my problems. If anything, it's just going to create more.

I gently push Tzu away.

"Wh-what's wrong?"

"Um…I'm sorry, but I…I have a girlfriend."

She takes a step back, and the pain in her eyes stab at my heart. Tzu's a really nice person. She's sweet, kind, and generous. A bit of a geek, but still…

"Really?"

I nod.

It's now I realize how crappy I've treated Tzu. We use to be good friends, before I ditched her for Goo. I didn't even try to keep our friendship going, even though she made it so easy. She's nice to me. Speaks to me even though I don't listen to her. And she somehow manages to like me, though I'm only a shell of what I use to be. Damn, I didn't realize until now how hollow I am. My life is so empty. I don't really go anywhere, or hangout with friends. I have no hobbies, no clubs, no anything! I'm a freakin' loser!

"Why is life so…" Hard? Stupid? Meaningless? I'm not sure how to even finish my own sentence.

"It's okay. Really. Lets just pretend this didn't happen," she says, giving me an easy out. She lifts up her pinky finger, giving me a weak, broken smile. I encircle my pinky around hers, and the deal is sealed. But I know our friendship is broken now. She's not going to want to talk to me as much, or invite me over.

She awkwardly begins to walk again and I follow a few paces behind her. I'm alone again. The hole in my chest somehow grows larger now.

* * *

I walk inside the apartment, expecting the welcoming smell of a home cooked meal to greet me. But that's not the case. To my surprise, I don't find Kari in the kitchen. I've grown use to seeing her almost everyday, usually cooking a nice meal for us. It gave the apartment a warm, homey feel. That wasn't the case today, however, and it made me feel even more cold. I was hoping that Kari would lift my spirits…Obviously, that wasn't going to happen. My phone begins to vibrate in my pocket. I don't know why I let myself get so excited my this, but I did. I'm not even sure who I wanted it to be on the other end; Goo? Bloo? Tzu? Kari? Mom?  
I doesn't matter, because it isn't any of them when I look down at the screen of my cell. It's some number I don't recognize. Probably a wrong number. Is it sad that I'm so disappointed by this? God, I'm so sick of being depress! I mindlessly through my phone. It crashes against the wall, and slams to the floor, broken.

"Mac! What the hell?" Terrence voice booms from no where a few seconds later, making me jump. I turn to face him. I'm able to catch that look of concern on his face while in mid-turn, before it converted into anger. Sporting only his boxers, he storms toward me. The only thing wilder than his hair and breathing is his eyes. He catches me by the collar, lifting me off the ground a little.  
"You little idiot," he growls, low and harsh. I can feel my blood pulsating, awaiting his punch. However, he lets me go with a gruff sigh. He runs his fingers through his hair before spotting my cell phone on the ground. He walks around me and picks up the broken pieces of the phone, only to let it fall back to the floor. He then looks at me from over his shoulder and I shrug. I then hear the floor creak and I turn to see Kari walking toward the door. Her clothes are disheveled, her hair a bit wild, and her face is completely red. We make eye contact and she gives me an embarrassed smile and waves as she continues to leave. I stare at her in disbelief until she closes the door behind her. I glance over at Terrence, who's now slamming cabinet doors as he searches for something to eat.

I'm too afraid to ask him to explain what happened, or, rather, what was _about_ to happen, between him and Kari before my disturbance. I stare at his back, wanting something. A friend? A hug? A brother? A confidant? Some kind of affection? I'm not sure, but I am sure I won't get it form Terrence.  
He abruptly slams his fist against the countertop, sending a tinge of fear through me. "Dammit," I heard him grumble to himself, and it's then I realize he needs the same things that I do. I could easily go to my room, leave us both to our own devices like always. I muster up my strength and ease myself to him. Meek and awkward, I wrap an arm around him. He turns his head to look at me. He looks confused, at rightly so. We don't do these kind of things. Just as awkward as me, he wraps an arm around me. I'm not sure what I expected him to do, but it wasn't that. He rubs my back a bit before easing away. He scratches his goatee, and I can tell that he's thinking.  
"You um, want to talk?" I ask nervously. He bites his lower lip, and I can tell he's tempted to say yes, but he shakes his head in refusal. He runs his hand through my hair, in a way that seems strangely familiar, as if he's done it a million time before. With more confidence, yet still a tad awkward, he pulls me into a proper hug. In our embrace, he continues to pet my head. I close my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.

I feel like dieing. My life is so hollow…

I must have said this out loud because Terrence says, "Yeah, well…Something good will happen and make it better…It just has too."

* * *

I stare up at my ceiling as I lie in bed. Terrence and I talked for a while over cereal. We didn't offer each other advice, only a listening ear. I told him about my loneliness and depression. He told me about his anger along with his feeling of loneliness. That then verge the conversation into other things, like Dad leaving us and Terrence's struggle with life afterwards. Once he opened up, he wouldn't stop talking. He told me about his lack of relationships, his drug addictions, his hatred of almost everything, and then, Kari. In a his roundabout way, he basically told me he loves her. Of course, he didn't outright say this. But anyone could tell just by listening to him. Though his last words did sadden me a bit.

_"I ain't dumb enough to think she'll stay with me forever. I'm either gonna fuck it up, or she'll see that I'm a loser…which ever comes first." _

I couldn't help but think that he's right. He had rubbed his eyes, mumbled a swear, and got up. After he had left, I went to my room and gotten on my computer. I deleted all my accounts on websites, deleted all my e-mails, ended my e-mail account, unplugged my computer, and set it outside my room.

Now I lay in my bed, disconnected from the world. I turn to my nightstand. The glowing red numbers of my clock told me it's close to being eleven p.m. I glance over at the old picture of me and Bloo. It makes me smile. I then spot the telephone. I slid out of bed, ready to disconnect it, and place it next to the computer. Instead, I pick it up and found myself dialing a number. It rings once. Twice. Thrice. And it's then that I feel stupid and went to hang up the phone before I heard a voice. "Hello?"

"Tzu?"

"…Mac?"

"Yeah, it's me…I um…I just wanted to know if we were still okay."

She's quiet and I feel stupid for calling her.

"Sure, we're cool," she says, though her voice sounds a bit strained.

"Okay."

"Bye," she says, not waiting for me to respond before hanging up. I sigh and place the phone back on the hook.

I turn the nightstand a little, and disconnect the phone line.


	9. The Reunion: Part One

**TWO YEARS LATER  
****THE REUNION  
Part One**

* * *

**Goo**

_**Tuesday**_

"And _this_ is my room!" I exclaim opening the door for Jacob to see. Today is my first day back at home, unless you count last night, when we arrived. But we dozed off the moment we got in the door. Or at least I did. He glances around the room for a few seconds, before I yank him to the next door. "And _this_ is the bathroom. We'll be sharing it for the summer, so you can't hog up the shower like at Grandma's," I say at lighting speed. I don't think Jacob's tour of Grandma's was as fun as this. But that's only natural. I'm just more fun than he is. I smile at my thought, making sure to keep it in my head. I try to pull him to the next door, the baby's room, but this time he didn't budge. "C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! I gotta show ya the rest of the house! Move it! Move it! Move it!" I order, pulling his arm, but he resists.

"Can it wait a sec, Goo? I need to whiz."

"Ugh!" I groan in annoyance, but I release my grip anyway. "Well, hurry it up! I still gotta show you, like, fifty more rooms. Then you gotta unpack. Then we need to go to the store. Then we have to-"

"Yes, I get it," he cuts me off. It's pretty much of habit of his to cut me off before I can get too deep into what ever it is I'm talking about at the time. It's really rude. "This'll only take a moment," he huffs before closing the door behind him.

* * *

**Mac**

_**Monday**_

I laugh as I wave farewell to Bloo and the gang. I jump off the porch, beginning my walk home. However, I'm so energized that I literally hit the ground running. I haven't really hanged out at Foster's for a while. I've been so busy with college that I forgot how fun it is at Foster's. My run turns into a full fledge sprint. The summer sun welcomes me.

On the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road, I spot Tzu sitting on the handle bars of a bike as a familiar looking Asian boy pedals. It's the guy that lives with her. What was his name again? I slow my pace and I wave anyway. She manages to wave back before zipping past. The boy pedals faster. I can hear her shriek with laughter as I continue to run in the opposite direction.

When I get to my apartment building, I keep running. My run eventually turns into a light jog. I feel out of breath, but I keep moving until I get to her apartment. I walk in, exhausted. She smiles at my appearance, pausing her conversation to greet me with a hug and a light kiss on the head.

"Yeah, okay. That's enough," Terrence grumbles. Kari laughs. Rolling her eyes, she makes her way back to him. "So then what happens," Terrence asks, picking back up there conversation. I make my way to the kitchen, where a meal is awaiting me.

"He commits suicide."

I stuff a fork full of lasagna in my mouth.

"…Well, that's stupid. I thought this was one of those girly, romance novels. Who ever heard about a guy offing himself in a chick book?"

"Oh, what do you know? You don't even read books!"

I smile as I continue to eat. Terrence had moved in with Kari a few months ago. We were sitting at the dinning table when he announced it. Mom, who had been so happy to have a chance to get to know Kari over dinner, sat dumbfounded. "Terrence," I barely heard Kari whispered to him, "You could have waited until _after_ dinner to tell them." Of course, nothing topped his announcement of going to college. "Community college," Kari had corrected him. "Maybe a trade school. So he can get a better job."Mom wore a huge grin as tears threaten to stream down her face.

I continue to eat my lasagna as I watch them playfully bicker. Watching them makes me feel bad for doubting their relationship. Though, a part of me still does doubt its longevity. Sure, Terrence has taken a turn for the better. But he's still Terrence. Last week we sat in silence together, the TV pretty much on mute. He kept flipping the small, black box in his hand open (_swoosh)_ and closed (_snap)_. He must had done it a billion times. _Swoosh! _Ask her. _Snap! _Don't ask her._ Swoosh! Snap! Swoosh! Snap!_It annoyed me, but I'd rather him be indecisive, than to ask me. Cause then I'd have to tell him a truth he didn't want to hear as much I didn't want to say it: He's still not good enough for her. Besides, he's never even told her he loves her. At least not straight out.

"Hey Mac, what are you thinking about?" Kari asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. I smile, telling her I wasn't thinking about anything.

* * *

Kari's apartment consists of two bedrooms, a bathroom, a den/dining room area, and a relatively small kitchen. I technically still live with Mom, but I find myself sleeping in the extra bedroom at Kari's more often than not. If Foster's my home away home, then Kari's apartment is a close second.

However, all three places lack the true feeling of _home_. I'm not sure why that is, exactly. Laying here in bed tonight, I look around the practically barren room.

"_Shit," _Terrence's voice, a strange mix of a hiss and a gasp, carries into my room through the thin walls. Then, everything fell back into the silence I've grown accustom to when sleeping over. It's always quiet around these parts during the night.

For a moment, I assume Terrence must have just bumped into something while fumbling in the dark. Then came the soft, rhythmic squeaking. I close my eyes, pretending not to know what that sound implies. There's no way that they'd…The undeniable sound of skin slapping together claws its way into my ears, and my stomach knots up. I cover my ears. The sound of meeting skin…wet and echoing…it sounds so disgusting, even though I vaguely remember liking the sound when it was coming from chocolate skin heatedly meeting mine. But right now, it's making my stomach churn. _That _sound stops after a couple of seconds thankfully, but the squeaking persists.

"_I love you," _a soft, feminine voice coos. Kari. She mewls it out like a mantra: _I love you. I-I love you. I love you._ And with each declaration of love that she sputters out, the squeaking becomes quicker, louder. He's thrusting harder…maybe that's how he tells her he loves her.

I shake my head. I'm too in tune to their relationship. I don't really want to know what's going on in there. I press my hands to my ears a little harder when the slams of the headboard meeting the wall joins in on my torture. They probably think they're being quiet. This had to be the first time I hated the silent nights of Kari's apartment building. They usually give me a nice thinking/sleeping atmosphere. Right now, the silence only service to help me hear _way_ too much.

I curse myself for not bothering to have more than a toothbrush and a change of clothes here. If I had my ipod, or even the iphone I got last Christmas, I could easily drown it out with music.

The wet sound of skin meeting resurfaces, and a nasty mental image came to my head. I block it out, jumping out of bed. The back of my throat burns, leaving a nasty taste in my mouth, when I push down a little bit of vomit. I faintly remember Kari's DS being in here. I distracted myself in the search, found it, and proceeded to play it in the highest volume setting.

It's an old Gameboy game, but I didn't mind. Sitting on the floor, I play it for a while as I pretend to be oblivious to my brother's current activities.

"_Nngh…FUCK!" _

Terrence's loud outburst shocks me, causing me to jump. The DS falls and slides under the bed, muting the music. …Is it over?

Squeak. Gasp. Squeak. Squeak. Silence…

Okay, _now_ it's over. I crawl under the bed as mush as I could, in search of the DS. After finding it, I give it a once-over to make sure the fall didn't damage it.

* * *

I open my eyes, and stare up at the ceiling. The dream I just had…So strange. Everything was black and white. No gray. No in-between. Black and White.I stood alone in the grass when the wind blew past me and up towards the sky. A black bird was flying in the air and, somehow, I knew that bird was me. As a bird, I flew through the dark sky. My body then convulsed, and I began to fall. Faster and faster, I hurdled to the ground. As I fell, my bird self disappeared. I became red. Liquid. Blood pummels into the ground, dispersing into white vapor…

I glance over to the window. It's still dark out. I don't remember when I went to sleep, but I couldn't have been sleeping long. The dull music of the DS reach my ears. I find it on the other side of the bed, and turn it off. With a soft sigh, I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep.

The next day, I crawl out of bed. Terrence is sitting in his boxers on the den's sofa, watching TV. The volume is so low I can barely tell it's on, so I assume he's watching some soap opera. "Where's Kari?" I ask him.

"Library…She gotta write a paper or somethin'."

I roll my eyes at him. "Shouldn't you be there too?"

He shrugs, and I wonder just how seriously he's taking his new summer classes. "How's the job hunt going?" I ask as I head into the kitchen. I open the fridge, and frown when I didn't see a plate wrapped up. Kari didn't cook breakfast this morning. I go over to the cabinet, and smile. They still have Pop-Tarts.

"Got an interview later," he says distractedly, a tinge of annoyance in his voice. I'm about to question his attitude when I remember he's watching his soaps, and I must be distracting him.

But he really needs to focus on getting another job. He still works at _Julio's _with Kari, but he needs the extra money. I don't know the whole story, but apparently Terrence beat some guy to a pulp in front of Club Infinity. The guy placed a lawsuit on Terrence, and even though they settled it out of court almost two years ago, Terrence still owes the guy a pretty penny. With that, along with paying his share of the rent, groceries, and gas for the van…Well, he should be doing more than just sitting around in his underwear.

The toaster dings, and I get my Pop-Tarts. I run my hands through my hair as I wait for my breakfast to cool.

* * *

I sat on the bench in the pharmacy dept. of the store. I came here out of shear boredom. Terrence left for his interview, and Mom is at work. I didn't want to sit alone in an apartment, but I wasn't up for Foster's( I didn't get much sleep and didn't want to be a downer to the gang). So I came here.

I like to people watch. It's a hobby I formed when I had to be alone.

A ring of laughter fills the air, and I watch as a toddler, a blur of pink and purple, runs down the aisle. The little girl is followed by a young man. His hair, pulled lightly in a ponytail, reaches his lower back, and flows behind him like a whip. He's one of those guys with long hair that still manages to look like a man. When my hair passes shoulder length, I tend to look a little feminine. Needless to say, I keep it trimmed.

She releases a high pitched squeal when he catches her, knocking me out of my thoughts. Her giddiness is short lived. The guy squats down and places her on her feet, before he starts talking to her with a hard look on his face. No doubt he's scolding her for running off. As they stood there, I stare at the little girl. One small, caramel skinned hand is in the larger, tan skinned male's hand. Her other hand coyly tugs on one of her dark brown pigtails. She rocks herself back and forth on her heels, swaying her purple and pink dress. She's undeniably cute, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Every time I see a child that appears to be of mixed origin, I tend to stare…It's always then that it resurfaces that I have a kid somewhere that probably looks something like this. I then usually think about Goo, and how I haven't been able to contact her in what feels like forever... But this is different. That little girl's face. Lips in a pout, looking like she's one the verge of tears. There's something so familiar about it. More than familiar, actually.

I shake it off. I'm being ridiculous. The guy picks her up, and she's smiling and laughing again. I turn my attention to a redhead that kind of looks like the younger Frankie, if Frankie had tattoos and a lip piercing. She's looking over some of the nonprescription drugs. I try to concentrate on her, but I'm drawn to the little girl's laughter. It takes me a second to relocate her. The little girl is now standing in front of a chocolate skinned woman who's bending over, hands on her knees, as she speaks to the toddler.

I feel like a weirdo as I walk towards them. I plan to walk casually by them, but I still felt weird as I take steps closer to them. Maybe it's because I'm only doing this to get another look at the kid. There's something about her face I just need to place. But this excuse doesn't make me feel any less weird.

"…okay, Moiré? I mean, as fun as running is, you can't just do it in a department store. Well, you can't do it in any store, really," I hear the woman say, before she stands up. "Unless it's a running store, but I don't think those exist. And if they do, then what do they sell? I think-"

"She _gets_ it already. Can we just finish shopping?" the tan skinned guy says, interrupting the woman who's voice sounds so familiar. Too familiar. But it couldn't be…

"Goo?"

She turns, and her eyes widen. Her once long hair is now cut short, framing her face. It made her look more mature. And her chest and hips seem larger than I remember. But I have no doubt. It's her. It's really her.

We stare at each other in shock. This isn't how I pictured us reuniting. Not even close. But, damn it all if I'm not stunned in joy.

She's the first to snap out of shock and takes a step towards me, but stops and looks back at the tan skinned boy. It's then I notice that they're holding hands. I feel like someone just stabbed my heart. She whispers something to him, and he reluctantly releases her hand. He glares at me as he picks up the little girl and walks into the next aisle.

We watch them leave, and when his hair swings out of sight, she turns back to me.

* * *

**Goo**

"Mac!" I cry out, jumping into his arms. He quickly envelops me into an embrace. God, I love him. He tightens his hold, and I squeeze him back encouragingly. I've missed him so much. I'm at a lost for words. I…I…Wait a minute…I'm mad at him.

I push out of the embrace, and quickly wipe away the few tears that had spilled out. I cross my arms, and scowl at him. The jerk.

"What's wrong?"

What's wrong? _What's wrong_! How about when I finally get my hands on a cell phone, you don't answer. Never answered! And do you know how hard it was to hind a cell phone from my Granny? I don't think you do! The woman can smell them. Sniff them out! I think she's part badger or dog or something. Do you know what that _means_. I'm a quarter badger-dog! It's freaking impossible! And you know what else? You stopped returning my e-mails. No, worse! You _changed_ your e-mail. You know how heart breaking it is to send an e-mail of our newborn baby's picture, only to have that demon mail thingy tell me I sent it to a nonexistent account? Your account! I had to write you letters like some _cavewoman_! Only to realize that I didn't remember your stupid address! I couldn't even recall your home phone number! I had no way to communicate with you! You know nothing! _Nothing! _I felt so ignored! So blocked off! So alone! So…Abandon!

"Is it…is it cause of that guy?"

That guy? What guy? …Oh right, Jacob. He doesn't know Jacob. …But what does Jake have to do with anything? Wait. Darn it, I did it again. I'm not speaking my words.

"Speak to me, Goo."

I realize I've been standing here fuming, but none of my words had come out. He must thinks something's wrong. Well, technically, there is something wrong. I mean, things certainly aren't candy-dandy around here.

"Goo…"

Oh yeah, I need to talk.

"Mac, I…You…I'm mad at you! Yeah, and…and…"I can't seem to get my words out. And I feel so silly right now that I'm losing the fire and will to keep up my anger. He's looking at me with such concern…He looks so worried, and a little bit sad too. He looks so cute.

I punch his arm, and he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"You ignored me," I'm finally able to say.

"What? No. No, I didn't. I just… I got a new e-mail address, and I've tried e-mailing you…but you never replied," he says, coming closer to me. He lifts his hand, as if to caress my face, but hesitates. He looks me in the eye, his own eyes filled with pain and remorse. He's searching my eyes for an answer. An answer to what exactly, I'm not sure. But he must have found it, for he places his hand on my cheek. My anger is getting harder to hold on to.

"I gave up on e-mails. I haven't check them in forever," I tell him, my voice cracking. "I mean, I thought you didn't care about me anymore. So I didn't see the point in-"

"Didn't care?" he says, somewhat loud and dumbfounded. I try to look away, but he uses his hand so that I'm forced to look him in the eye. "Goo, that's…That's…I was fucking wreck without you. There was this giant hole ripped in my chest. I could barely do anything, I was so numb! If anything, I care _too_ much." I watch as his eyes glaze over as tears threaten to fall."I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never... I wasn't really thinking when I… I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry," he continues, sputtering out words as if he's unsure of what he really wants to say. "You weren't answering your e-mails, and I couldn't help but feel... But it's been so long… I've missed you so much." He then pulls me into a hug. I didn't hug him back. Not that I didn't want too, but…I don't know. I mean, I really, really, _really _want nothing more than to hug and love on him. It's all I ever wanted to do since I had to leave, but…There's so much he doesn't know. He has no idea the pain I went through. No idea…

"Do you still love me?"

He whispers the question, his voice shaky in fear and impending tears. My heart breaks for him. What a stupid question. How could he even doubt? How could _I_ have ever doubted…He loves me. My anger melts away, and I quickly throw my arms around him. He tightens his grip, and I hear him sigh in relief. He pulls back slightly to look at me, a small smile on his face. I smile back. He then looks around, realizing our surroundings. We must be a real spectacle, with all these emotions in the middle of a store. I didn't really care though. I snuggle into him, resting my head on his chest.

* * *

"This is _your_ apartment? I mean, like it. But it looks kind of pricey and-"

"It's not mine. It's Terrence's…Well, his and his girlfriend's."

I look at him in disbelief. _Terrence_. With his own apartment? _Terrenc_e. With a girlfriend? _Terrence_?

He laughs lightly, as if he just read my mind."Yeah, I know. It's weird," he says as he gestures for me to take a seat on the sofa. He asks if I'm thirsty, and I tell him no. However, a little fruit punch wouldn't be bad right about now. But I want face time with Mac more than beverages. I mean, I can drink later.

He sits down next to me, quickly taking my face in his hands. His thumbs gently circles my cheeks as he gaze into my eyes. A light breath of a laugh escapes his lips."I can't believe you're here. I was beginning to think I'd never see you again."

I smile at him.

"You're so different now," he continues, one of his hands leaving my face to run through my hair. I blush. He has a look of pure fascination as he continues to run his fingers through my hair.

"Do you not like it? I mean, I didn't really _want_ to cut it. But someone gave her scissors, and she chopped a lot off. Who gives a two year old scissors is beyond me. But, anyway, I couldn't just walk around with my hair all uneven, at least that's what Granny says. I mean, I could have. I kind of liked it. But, I mean, I plan to grow it back and-"

"You're still you," he interrupts my babbling, a pinch of laughter in his voice. "I like it, by the way," he adds. "Makes you look your age."

"Twenty-one? What, did my long hair make me look twelve?"

"No, but no one could tell our age difference after I skipped a grade and had my growth spurt."

"Puh-_lease. _You still look like a little baby. I mean, how old are you? Nineteen? I've been a woman for, like, _ever. _You're just barely legal," I tease. He laughs it off, and the room becomes silent.

I told Jake to go back home with Moiré. I'll properly introduce everyone later, for I needed to be alone with Mac for a while.

We need to talk.

"Mac, I…" my voice dies in my throat. I don't think I can tell him. I mean, it was pretty horrible. He's staring at me intently, and I know I need to same something. "Why didn't you answer my e-mails?" I ask. It wasn't close to what I wanted to say, but it is something that needs further discussion. So, lets roll with it.

He sighs, scooting closer to me. He takes my hand in his, and just stares at our entwined fingers. He looks like he's thinking. Contemplating's more like it. It's as if he isn't sure if he wants to tell me.

"I've never mentioned it in our e-mails, cause I didn't want you to worry. But…Like I said earlier, I was a wreck when you left." He then let out a sad laugh. More like a scoff, really. "Honestly, I was more than that. I was really withdrawn and depressed. It doesn't even make since how badly I missed you. I swear, they could have put me on suicide watch.

"There were times that I couldn't even _think_ your name without having some kind of an episode. I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt insane." He says this almost jokingly, but it lacks any humor. His voice is dark, sad, distant. It scares me imagining him so far gone in depression. …All because of me.

"And then, there was Tzu," he adds a few seconds later.

"Zoo?" I ask, a bit confused. I mean, what in the world does a zoo fit into all this? He catches my confusion and smiles.

"Tzu Nakashima."

Zoo Nakashima…Nope, never heard of it.

"She's the little Asian girl from school. You may not remember her."

"Oh," I say, feeling a little stupid. "Well, what happened?"

He's silent for a moment, needing to collect his thoughts. Or maybe he's just hesitating. If it's hesitation, then I'm a little worried.

"She…She became my friend. When I was around her…I didn't feel so depressed.

"But I kind of treated her badly. I wasn't cruel to her or anything. I just…I just didn't treat her as well as I should have, if that makes sense. I mean, for a while I was angry with her for no real reason. Well, after thinking about it, I think it was because she reminded me of you. She isn't really like you in anyway, but she has your smile. A heart warming smile. It drove me nuts. "And I wouldn't listen to her when she talked. And…I guess it's not as bad as I make it out to be. I don't know. I still kind of feel bad about it."

He's silent again, but I know there's more. There had to be more."What happened?"

He didn't answer right away. In fact, he stays silent, looking off at the wall. I tighten my hold on his hand, and he looks back at me.

"She wanted to be more than friends…She kissed me and-"

"What!"

"It was nothing. Barely even a peck," he adds, trying to cool me down. "I told her I had a girlfriend, and that was that."

There was a tinge of sadness in voice when he says this. I frown. Did he want to be with her? I mean, if he's just staying with me out of some code of honor, then forget it. I want to pull my hand from his, but it felt too right holding his hand to pull away.

He shakes his head, and I realized my assumption is wrong. His thumb glides over my knuckles."We weren't friends anymore. Just this neutral thing that didn't feel the same. And I just needed to break away. It may not make sense but… I needed to be utterly and completely alone. After some time of solitude, I spent a lot a nights at Foster's and I started feeling like myself again. Kind of.

"I've changed too. Being without you…It did something to me. And even now that you're back, I don't think I'll ever be completely like I was before. …Honestly," he now whispers, "I'm a little afraid that you won't like the new me."

I stare at him. Is he serious? I mean, I know he's being serious, but…Really?

I laugh, pulling him to me. I'm the one with the new hair do. I'm the one with 'birthing hips', as Granny called them. I'm the one that can no longer tell if they're speaking out loud or not. I'm the who has changed. I'm the one that should be worried.

"Of course I like you. I mean, if you still like me."

He rolls his eyes. "You're such a child."

I stick out my tongue, and we laugh a little. I sigh, relaxing myself into him.

"Jacob bought me a new cell phone," I say, somewhat randomly. We've been laying in silence for a while now. "I called your cell but you never answered. So when you stopped answering your e-mail, I thought you were doing it on purpose."

He shakes his head, his hand lazily rubbing my back. He lifts his head up slightly to kiss my forehead, before laying back down."It's nice…knowing someone loves you," I tell him.

"Yeah."

I take a deep breath. Everything feels so right. I can feel his love for me radiating off his skin. I want to drown myself in it. I sigh. I have to tell him. "I need to tell you something."

* * *

**Mac**

My stomach knots up at the words. The last time she said those words to me, it was before she left for two years, almost three years in total. This couldn't be good. I can tell by the way she said it.

"It's about that Jacob guy, isn't it?" My mind flashes back to an hour ago, when they were holding hands. He had looked at me as if he wanted to gut me like a fish. I got a feeling that something happened between them. Something similar to what happened between Tzu and I. I close my eyes, preparing for the worst.

Her snickering tickles me, and I open my eyes as she esculates to full out laughter.

"Don't be silly. Me and Jacob are practically related. I mean, he's technically my uncle. But the chances of me calling him my uncle, is slim to none. And besides, you'd think I would-" I place a finger on her lips, and she stills. I smile at her, and she smiles back, causing my grin to grow. I feel warm inside.

"The little girl…That was our child, right?" I ask and she nods. The child's laughter is still ringing in my head. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is." she coos, sounding a bit sleepy. "Don't worry, she's gonna love you. I've told her _all_ about you."

My smile broadens at her words.

"What's her name?"

"Moiré."

"Moiré?" I question, the word sounding familiar. I think back to my French classes in high school. It takes a moment before it clicks. "Silk? You named her fabric?"

"What? I wanted to give her an original M name."

"You could have given her my name."

"Little Baby Mac? No offense, but I don't think so."

"You could have made it girly."

"I _did_. I mean, technically her name is _Mac_kenzi. What I mean is, that's the name on her birth certificate and stuff. But I really liked Moiré as a name too, so that's what I call her. Just be glad I didn't give her some Japanese name you'd never be able to pronounce. I'm mean, her name was very close to being-"

I chuckle, cutting her off, and go back to playing in her hair. I have to admit, I do miss the length. But that isn't really something I'm too concern about. I start messaging her scalp. She hums in appreciation, relaxing completely into me now. "I love you," I whisper as she begins to doze off. When I'm certain she's in a deep enough sleep, I ease myself up and carry her into my room. I lay on my bed, kissing her cheek and then her forehead. She looks like a sleeping angel. My angel. I ease her shoes off her feet before placing a light sheet over her. I climb in bed with her, and watch her sleep. I can't seem to lose my grin. I feel…whole.

* * *

_**A/n: TIME SKIP! YEAH! ... I've realized that I haven't updated since April. This chapter was suppose to be an epicly long epic of epicness, but alass, it twas not to be. This is only half of the chapter, and it's still very much under construction. But it's been so long that I decieded to put up half of it instead of making ya'll wait longer(and with school starting last week, it'll probably be a while before I'm able to finish it up). anyway, there's probably about two or three chapters left...hope you enjoyed this. I'm personally a little iffy about it. **_


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